Article

Single in the Suburbs and Searching for Love?

Topic: DatingPublished October 1, 2009

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Emily Price just put her house in the suburbs up for sale. And sadly, it’s because she wants to move further away from some of her closest friends. Price, 37 and a media professional in New Jersey, wants to relocate because "after my recent divorce, I am suddenly the only single on the block in a town where everyone knows me and my divorce story." After seeing her struggle for months to meet eligible men and like-minded friends, Price's best friend Peggie finally encouraged her to try anew. "Seeing my Emily struggle with gossiping neighbors while trying to rebuild her life was heartbreaking. At least in a new town she will have a level of anonymity and a fresh dating pool to tap into, especially on the weekends when she doesn’t have her kids,” says Peggie. There are many suddenly singles just like Emily who live in the suburbs, but for many picking up their lives and moving away from family and friends is not an appealing option. They want to be able to enjoy the company of other singles while staying in the cities and towns they know so well. If this sounds like you, here are some things you can do to better your social situation: Steer Clear of the Couples Trap: It’s comfortable and easy, but mixing exclusively with married couples may be what’s keeping your social life stagnant. Finding a few singles with whom you can mingle will teach you how to appreciate this new stage in life, and with their support you will be better positioned to deal with the town talk. If everyone you know seems to be paired up, try reconnecting with old friends or reaching out to new people at work, the gym or in a social club/group. Shake up Your Schedule: You may think it’s safe and sensible to stick to a rigid routine, but that too may be part of your problem. If you do your errands and chores at the same time every day, chances are you are missing out on meeting new people. With a few minor but smart schedule adjustments, those chance encounters can become more frequent. So the next time you hit the cleaners or the grocery store, step out of your comfort zone and try doing it a different time of day. Don’t Be too Shy to Pry: Wondering about the Dad who picks up his kids at school or the woman you spot at the gym every morning? A little snooping goes a long way and can make the difference in your love life. If approaching them directly is out of the question then ask a third party, like a teacher or trainer, for the inside scoop. Search Beyond Borders: The well may have run dry in your town, but finding love in a neighboring town should not be the impetus for a move. Online dating sites allow you to meet people in remote locations who know and care not about your personal history, so be sure to take advantage of it! Try to Break Away: There’s nothing stopping you from escaping suburbia on those days when it seems like a living hell. Chances are the closest big city is merely a car/train/bus ride away, and regular jaunts into the nearest urban center will do your mind, spirit and heart some good. Group vacations are also a great way to expand your social network and connect with other divorcees. There are a host of travel providers who cater exclusively to the singles set, so be sure to check them out before planning your next trip!

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