How to Raise Self Esteem: Part Two

In this second part of the article about how to raise self esteem I would like to introduce you to a wonderful technique from the field of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) known as ‘The Swish.’ Using this technique you can re-program your thought process’s to move away from the unwanted behaviour (i.e. “I am a useless person”) towards a healthier thinking process such as, “I am learning to be more resourceful.” It’s one of the quickest ways to re-direct your habitual thinking patterns! To give this process a go right now please answer the following simple question: Think of a specific situation where you feel low-self esteem, for example standing in a long queue or speaking in public or asserting yourself with someone. Become aware of the first picture you see through your own eyes just before you feel the crappy feelings. We’ll call this the cue image. Now put that aside for a moment and ask yourself the following, “If I were to think of something that made me feel good how would that feel now?” It’s important to remember that this doesn’t need to be something perfect. The question is, “Does it feel better than the low self esteem feeling?” If you’re having difficulty accessing a good feeling try the following: Think about your favourite pet/animal. How many things can you feel gratitude for? What is your favourite food? Who do you admire? Which music turns you on? That feels better right? So if you were to symbolise that good feeling what would it look like? It can just be a colour if you wish! Notice that when you look at that symbol and make it bigger and bring it closer and crank up the colour and brightness it makes you feel even better doesn’t it. So the next step to re-program you mind is about to begin! Picture that cue-image again if you will. You know the one that cued up the crappy feelings. Bring it closer and make it bigger and brighter. Now in the middle place a small, postage stamp sized image of the ‘good feeling symbol.’ This is the exciting part; the actual swish. Imagine zooming the crappy feeling cue image off into the distance, noticing it getting smaller and dimmer as it goes off away from you. AND at the same time bring the good feeling symbol closer and make it bigger and brighter. Then blank the screen. Simply imagine you’ve blanked your inner mental screen. Some people seen a big black board or others see a white screen. Do the actual ‘swishing’ several times until you can imagine doing it in less than half a second. The final steps are to break your current state: Think of something totally different like what you ate for breakfast or do times tables in your head. And now think of the original cue image and notice that your feelings have changed! I have used a simplified version of the NLP Swish technique in this article because the standard procedure utilises the visualising of a desired self-image which I know can be quite challenging to achieve if a person is feeling very low. The full step-by-step version of the technique, along with many more tips, can be found in “The NLP ToolBox” and “The Half-Second Rule.” Low self esteem and it’s associated ‘victim behaviour’ have a tendency to re-enforce themselves resulting in a person suffering with feelings of low energy. To break out of these kinds of habitual patterns and raise self esteem it is necessary to do something different. Anything else to break the patterns! The NLP Swish technique is a very effective tool for breaking out of destructive patterns along with NLP’s many other useful change methods.