Successful Change for A Change

Change is easy...Transitions are hard. Think of how many times you've tried to make a change and how many times you've been successful...So often, resistance turns us back to our old ways. This time, even though it might be a bit uncomfortable or unfamiliar, welcome resistance as feedback, telling you that you're changing the status quo--Here are the three steps to successful change:

STEP ONE -- Starting something new is not the first step. It's the third. Before we can begin something, we must lose something--that is, we need to first stop and let go of what no longer works. This may be the most difficult part of the change process because it is uncomfortable to feel the loss of something familiar. Self-management and facing regret is probably the most critical step in making change work. Ask yourself, "What is it you're holding on to that won't allow you to move forward?"

STEP 2-- Be prepared because you have entered a naked wasteland where you are no longer what you were, and not yet what you will be. You have stepped into the unknown (for a brief time) and there may be some feelings of inadequacy while you build new skill. The greatest challenge at this point is to manage negative self-talk--a tendency we all have to be self-critical and judgmental-- and replace the negative with the positives. Here, you'll want to ask "What can I do to cope with the short term discomfort of this uncertainty?"

STEP 3 -- Practice the new behavior. Here's where we can learn from our children. Watch a child do something new -- they practice over and over and over until the skill is mastered. Unlike children, though, our mature minds remind us of all the reasons why it won't work. Adopting the "open-mindedness" of a child, we'll want to immerse ourselves in continual, positive reinforcement that will keep us going. nnn