Stepping Back - taking the time we need

Sometimes we don't take the time to really get to know ourselves or consider the direction we are taking - we are far too preoccupied with the demands of everyday life...nnDo you know the answer to the following questions? If not now is the time to step back and check your direction and priorities. What are your long-term goals? What is most important to you in life? What is most important in your relationships? What direction is your career/work life taking?nnIf you are not yet sure of your answer to these questions, the following ideas might be a useful starting point. They may also help you to identify those areas that are working well and those were change may be required.nnList five aspects of your life that your most enjoy and find most fulfilling.nnList five aspects of your life that you dislike the most - perhaps because they stop you doing things that are really important to you.nnYou might list big things here, or it might be small things. Some times the everyday things can be the most important, and equally, sometimes, it can be small things that cause us the greatest stress. As the following exercise explains...nnHave you ever sat watching a television programme you didn't enjoy, putting up with it simply because the batteries in the remote have run out and you can't be bothered to get up and walk to the television to change it. So you tolerate a programme you do not like. Many aspects of life can be like that. We tolerate things we do not like, simply because it is easier. But all these things drain our energy, and mean that it is not available to put into things we really enjoy. They reduce the day-to-day quality of our lives.nnMake a list of twenty things you are tolerating in your life right now. These may be big things or quite small 'niggles', but they all sap your energy. Here are a few examples to get you started:n n

• a job you dislike
nn
• messy children's bedrooms
nn
• a dirty fridge
nn
• a partner who doesn't listen to you
nn
• a huge pile of ironing waiting to be done
nn
• a garden full of weeds
nn
• a room that needs painting
nn
• dead plants
nn
• friends or family who take you for granted.

nnnTake a moment to consider what your life would be like if none of your tolerations existed. How would you benefit. Note down your first, instantaneous reaction. Now go through your list again and ask for each item: what am I getting by putting up with this?nnWhen you know life would be better if you were not tolerating this particular energy drain, ask yourself what is really stopping you from dealing with it? Get to the root of the problem and you will be able to resolve the issue.