Stress Busting Relaxation Exercise for Two

Does Separation + Divorce = Stress? Sometimes moving on through divorce is painful. Stress and anxiety is your body's response to change and uncertainty. The good news: like the divorce process, stress can be managed. How Does Stress Make you Feel? - Stress related to separation or divorce can make you feel angry, excited or helpless. - It can make it hard to sleep. - It can give you aches and pains in your back, neck, and head. - You may overeat, overthink, drink too much, or start smoking again. - You may not have any symptoms at all, but your body suffers from it. How Can I Cope? Ending a marriage by separation or divorce is one of the most stressful things you will ever do. Often people tell me that it is easier to cope with death. Please accept that you cannot control all the outside events, nor can you control his or her actions. You can control how you handle things, and here are some ways to cope. - Take 10 minutes a day for a relaxation exercise. - Try to accept things you cannot change. - Accept that the healing process will take time. - Visualise good things happening to you. - Engage in physical activity. Start with a walk. - Try to limit alcohol, over-eating and smoking. Add a Positive Spin This is so simple and so effective. Negative thoughtsrnMy life is over.rnThere are always pills, smokes and boozernI don't want it to be like this.rnI don't have the expertise.rnIt wasn't supposed to be this way.rnI feel so alonernI feel bruised and a failure. Positive spinrnI have an opportunity for growthrnI'm going to learn how to manage my stress.rnIt is, so I'll deal with it.rnI'll find people who can help mernI'll learn to make a new plan.rnI'll see if I can open a door.rnI'll give it one more try. Right now you can relieve stress. Print this other exercise, light some candles and do this self-exercise, or even better have someone read it to you. Relaxation Exercise You sit so stillrnSlouched in comfort.rnAn intake of clean air.rnWith a sigh you let go.rnAnother slow breath, deeply in and out.rnArms and shoulders and body relax.rnIt feels good to sit like this, calm and safe. A vision unfolds.rnA sandy cove, bathed in early morning light.rnYou are upon a rise, and before you,rna flight of wooden stairs,rnleading to an empty beach.rnAnd beyond the beach a soft sky.rnYou see the steps waiting, wide, sun-bleached, safe.rnYou note the colour and textures of the wood.rnYour left hand rests upon the railing,rnfeeling its smooth strength and warmth. At your feet is a container, a brown paper bag.rnCrumpled and limp, and empty.rnIt is for your burdens, let them escape.rnLet your worries flow from deep within, let them flow down your arm and see them drip fromrnyour fingers into the paper bag.rnYou feel yourself relax. Sag. A crayon lies nearby, you write upon the bagrna time and date when you will retrieve the contents.rnUntil then they are locked away, forgotten. You glide down to the next step, rnand with each step you let yourself relax.rnTake another step, relax.rnAround you, comforting like the arms of a loverrna sea of tall grass, swaying.rnYou see stalks and leaves and individual seeds.rnYou feel calm. There is no hurry. No rush. Take one more step.rnThe stairs support you like an old friend.rnYou see the waiting beach with its fine golden sand.rnYou see long shadows cast by the morning sun.rnYou listen. Birds in the distance, the hush of breeze.rnYou feel the sun's low heat, its warmth reassuring.rnYou are relaxed and safe. More steps, you are more relaxed.rnYou feel the sand grace your feet. rnBefore you a single chair. It calls to you.rnThis is your special place.rnYour place to retreat, to visit, to feel safe. Arms loose at your side, body very relaxed.rnBecause you are relaxed you know that you are safe,rnyou know that you are going to be OK.rnBecause you are relaxed you know that no one will harm you.rnRemain for as long as you want. When you are ready you rise from the chair. You move from the beach to the stairs. 10 steps before you. Each step upwards you start to feel more and more energized. More and more alive.rnYou stretch and smilernand promise to return. rnTo your special place. rnBonus!rnRarely can you control events; however, you can control how you deal with those events. In the above exercise you used the paper bag to put things aside. You can use this visualization anytime or anyplace where you need to free yourself from over-thinking. Let's say it is Friday and you have a meeting on Monday and there is nothing to do but worry about that meeting. Well, instead of wasting your weekend with stress use the paper bag idea. When you find yourself thinking about that meeting simply remind yourself that it is in the bag and you'll deal with it later. Another idea is to visualize a calendar. Feel the worry flow down your finger and onto a square on the calendar. You have set it aside and will deal with it then.