Supporting your Partner in Addiction Recovery

If your spouse is entering recovery, you still have a tough road ahead you. The recovery process can be just as difficult for the spouse as for the addict. Your responsibilities may seem overwhelming, and your partner may even demand more than you can give. In any case, the most important thing is to remain supportive of your partner. You want to be there for everything he or she needs, but it’s also important to remember yourself and to keep a level-headed perspective. End co-dependence. If you’ve lived with an addict, you probably already know that the addict’s negative behaviors can begin to rub off on other members of the household. In more severe cases, there may be a cycle of argument, bickering, and mutual emotional dependency that leads to practically never-ending relationship turmoil. In turn, this leads the addict to continue his or her abuse. In even more severe cases, two addicts living together can reinforce and perpetuate one another’s addiction, leading to a very ugly household situation. If there is a history of co-dependence in your relationship, make couples therapy an element of the recovery process. Seek treatment with a therapist who specialize in both addiction recovery and counseling for couples. Such professionals know special techniques to end the unproductive cycles of co-dependence. Be the calm one. During recovery, it’s likely that your partner is going to suffer from feelings of severe inner turmoil, including depression, anxiety, and crippling boredom. He or she may even become irritable or prone to argument. As always, it’s important to remove yourself from any situation where you’re being abused. But if your partner simply has a bit of internal volatility, try to interact from a calmer, more stable standpoint. Be the one who defuses tense situations, and be consistent in this. As always, don’t dismiss your partner’s feelings. Take them seriously, but work to make them better. Set a positive example. If you’re recovering partner is stuck in the doldrums of depression and self-pity, show what it’s like to be a positive, active, and healthy person. Try to maintain a good attitude. Treat your body well by exercising and eating nutritious meals. Cultivate a positive and varied social life. Come up with fun things to do, and go through with them with a positive attitude. When your partner sees you doing all of these things, it will show him or her that it is possible to have a good life and positive attitude without drugs or alcohol. Enlist the aid of others. You can be a major part of your partner’s recovery, but you probably don’t want to be the only one lending a hand. Reach out to friends and family to take an active role in the recovery process. If your spouse has some friends or family he or she can do things with, this will give you a chance to catch up on some much-needed alone time. If your partner can feel like a part of a loving and supportive community, a relapse will be much less likely.