The Curse Of 'I Dunno.'

I mention this quite a bit because it is possibly the single most factor for why people sleepwalk through life and end up at forty or fifty bitter, unfulfilled and trying to relive a long lost youth.nIt's the reason some women end up with boyfriends and husbands who batter them senseless on a regular basis. It's the reason teenagers stab each other and end up in jail wondering how 'having a bit of a laugh' ended up there.nnIt is the curse of 'I dunno'. I ask someone why they are miserable about something, say a job they have to do, then I ask them if they are so miserable doing it, why do it?....And they say....'I dunno'. You ask a woman why, if the man she is with is so horrible to her, calling her 'fatty' and sleeping around, why then is she with him?.....And she says feebly.....'I dunno'nnnThe question is......WHY DON'T YOU KNOW???!! nnIs the question so hard? If the person doing the job or task they didn't want to do said, 'I have to do this job because I said I would do it, I have already promised to complete it - although I hate it', you could understand. They are simply honouring a promise or a deal. They don't have to like it. Or even, I am doing this job to get enough money to buy a car, even though I hate the boss and I hate the job - after that I'll move on. But the 'I dunno' syndrome is different. It is deep, harmful longterm and insidious. It is borne out of generations not encouraged to think, challenge, question or debate. It is learned helplessness. Consequently, the only time the mind is challenged is when an outsider questions what they are mindlessly doing and they recieve the dull stare and the shrug followed by a fuzzy brained 'I dunno.' Is this you?nnnnI had a conversation with a 32 year old man who told me that he felt the pull to get married because all his friends had coupled up which meant they were rapidly losing interest in his singleton status when the dinner invites went out. It almost sounded like a proposal to me because it felt like he would marry anyone to be part of the group again. If/when he finds someone to couple up with, ask him in 5 dull, dinner party years later why he married and I bet the answer is.....you guessed it 'I dunno'. - At least that would be the truthful answer. The ' I dunno' crowd do not make decisive decisions. They never turn the TV or the Ipod off long enough to sit in cool silence and ask and answer their own life changing questions. They drift, being pushed and pulled by other peoples opinions, requests and fake societal pressures to conform to the subtle crowd mentality. If your brain has not functioned as a tool to get you exactly what you want in life then you must change the way you use it - starting from now. Unless of course you 'dunno' whether you want to.nnMillion dollar minds can always give a precise answer to any question you choose to ask about mostly everything. Can you imagine asking Gordon Ramsey about his kitchen and he shrugs his shoulders and says those idiot words? Or take Simon Cowell or Madonna? Most of what they achieved was part of a well thought out, considered plan so of course they know the answers. They might have ended up in an entirely unpredicted position, but not an unplanned one. i.e I'm sure Simon Cowell 15 years ago couldn't predict how reality television would make him quite so powerful so he couldn't have prepared for that part of it, but he didn't just fall mindlessly into his success in music or his success in general.nnThe reason so called showbiz 'Diva's' get attacked apart from the fact they are women, (men who are Diva's are called strong or 'the salt of the earth' or another name for them is 'Gordon Ramsay!') is because in a world of mindless sleepwalkers, they know exactly what they want. They stand out for this reason. In my book I say that you are either the Diva or the one serving the Diva....you choose. The majority of people are not in charge like that hence the minority own the world and get exactly what they need and want all the time. I'm not advocating being an a**hole. I am suggesting that to get exactly what you want in a partner, or a job, or in life you must first paint that vivid picture of what it is you want and burn it in your mind, so that when you are challenged by someone or secret Universal questions are asked of you, you always have the answer. Your destiny is rehearsed in your brain so well that you could do an exam on every aspect of what you want and how you are going to get it.nnIt's very much like doing a business plan. They are time consuming and people often don't want to do them. I have done a few and they are very good tools. They keep you pinned to your journey and because they have taken some time to write and research it is harder to forget the details. Their beauty lies in the fact that when someone tries to distract you from your path, it is much easier to notice because flags go up immediately to remind you that this is not what you have meticulously planned!nnAnother way to look at it is if you don't have a good reason for doing something, how about you don't do it and save yourself (and the poor kids) a rotten marriage or save yourself having to get dressed every morning to go wait in the rain to get to a job you hate? The beauty is that EVERYONE has the capability of having the answers. All folks are made brilliantly. The knack is knowing how to use that brilliance. If you gave a super high perfomance car to a 4 year old, the fact that he cannot drive it does not make the car less super. He simply needs to be taught how to use it.nnRead my post 'How To Make Decisive Decisions' - (the good news is it is never too late to wake up from the sleepwalk). Or if you want help in beginning living a life of definite CHOICE contact me.