The New Normal

For many people it is desirable to have everything in their life “under control”. Whether it is having a routine for going to work each day, when their family has dinner, or the leisure activities they do when they have free time, there is some sense of normality to their life. However, life and the events that happen to us are not fully in our control. A natural disaster strikes where we live, a love one suddenly gets sick or passes away, or our job is terminated. At once we’re put in a situation that is not comfortable for us. Initially we may be shocked by the events that have happened. We tend to move in slow motion as we go forward. Anger then often sets in at what happens. If the anger is allowed to fester long enough or what has happened brings up one obstacle after another, our feelings can often move to resentment. If however, we’re going to move forward with our life, we need to come to acceptance. Things as we knew them are indeed different. For either a temporary, or perhaps a permanent, period of time, how we had been living our life cannot be at that moment. When we reach this point we’re recognizing that we have reached “the new normal”.

In my home state of New Jersey a hurricane in late October put a majority of the population into “a new normal”. For those most impacted there was property damage that took away most everything they had. Others, while not losing everything, faced significant loss and repairs. Those without structural damage may have had power outages to face. As the area is heavily reliant on public transportation for work commuters, their usual means to getting to their job was altered as trains were shut down. Often when faced with a “new normal” situation, exte
al forces have an impact. The storm itself, and the resulting damage and loss of utilities or services that were always there, are out of the hands of most of the public to put back into place. However, as is similar in any change situation one encounters in life, there are both exte
al forces but also internal forces that impact one’s ability to move forward.

Yes, you may be limited by exte
al issues. However, when you really come down to the basics, it is ones beliefs that are internally driven that ultimately hold them back. Those beliefs usually fall into one of four categories. One’s assumptions are that because they have done a particular task a certain way over a long period of time that is the only way it can be done, when other approaches are possible. Or others interpretations lead them to believe that indeed while there are multiple ways to approach a solution the ones they don’t commonly use will be ones at which they will not perform well or which will put them in a more uncomfortable situation than they want to be. Still others limit their beliefs so as to think they are not capable of overcoming the new difficulties they are facing or other untold dangers, real or imagined, will impact what is left of what they have. Any and all of these beliefs can be enhanced further by the gremlin, that little voice in their head that tells them they are not good enough, or that they are incapable of living their life the way a change in circumstances has laid out in front of them.

There is nothing that is certain in life. In fact the events that have happened where I live have reinforced the reality that the only thing that is certain is that there will be events that will occur that will challenge us to respond to them and change our approach. Those changes do not have to always be seen in a negative light. They may open up your mind to an opportunity that you had not thought of before. For example, those needing to rebuild due to the results of the storm, may actually decide to design what is being rebuilt to look a way they had often imagined, but had not taken the time to plan out. After recovering from the trauma of the event, it may inspire one to either take a vacation they have been putting off, do an activity they have been wanting to do, or take up a new hobby. When faced with new circumstances, your inner beliefs will help you make of it what you will. Whether that “new normal” energizes you or drains you is ultimately in your hands.