The Spiritual B-Line

In this article, I'd like to share an extremely important idea from the world of cognitive therapy. It is an idea that I use in most of my psychotherapy sessions. To illustrate it, let me begin with a model called the ABC's.nnThe ABC model is a framework that was developed by a psychologist named Albert Ellis. Although I have written about the model before, let me give a brief overview.nnThe ABCsnnIn the ABC model, the A represents any Adversity that we encounter. The A is a stressor or trigger – a flat tire, a tax bill, a relationship conflict, or anything else that occurs in our lives.nnThe C is the Consequence (especially the emotional consequence) that we experience as a result. The consequence might be anger, fear, irritation, depression, or shame.nnOur entire culture is built around the idea that the A's cause the C's. Flat tires cause irritation. Tax bills cause panic. Relationship conflicts cause sadness or anger. Hardly anyone questions this. In fact, the entire world is focused on avoiding painful A's in order to avoid painful C's.nnHowever, the great idea from psychology is that A's do not cause C's – at least, not directly. What really causes the C's are the B's in the middle – our Beliefs.nnAdversity -> our Beliefs -> ConsequencesnnThe ABC model states that A leads to B, and B leads to C. A does not lead to C directly. There is always a B (a set of beliefs) in the middle.nnThe important point here is that we might not be able to change the adversities in our lives, but we can always (to some degree, with practice) change our beliefs. And as our beliefs change, so will the consequences.nnThe B-Line GamennTo illustrate this approach, I sometimes play a game with my clients called the "B-line."nnThe idea is that our beliefs are like a connect-the-dots line between adversities and consequences. At least on a theoretical level, we can connect any A with any C using the proper B-line. I (and most of my clients) find this to be an extremely empowering idea.nnLet me give an example of this.nnLet's say that a client comes to me who has recently lost his job. He says, "This is awful. I've been working for my company for the past ten years, and I expected to retire with them. Now they've laid me off and I feel worried and depressed."nnNow, feeling worried and depressed are common responses to a job layoff. Most of us would probably have the same reaction. However, let's map out this situation using the ABC model.nnThe client has experienced the challenging adversity of a job layoff. It's the A.nnHis emotional consequences are worry and depression. Those are the C's.nnIn this situation, the C's seem to be coming from the A. It seems as though:nnAdversity (job loss) -> Consequence (worry and depression)nnHowever, the ABC model says that the beliefs in the middle actually lead to the consequences:nnAdversity (job loss) -> Beliefs -> Consequence (worry and depression)nnWhat are this client's beliefs that might be leading to worry and depression? They are probably beliefs like this:nn "The job market is so tight… I might not find a new job for years."n "I'm getting too old to switch jobs again."n "This shows that I'm getting to be unemployable."n "I'm a total failure at providing for my family."nn…and so on. In order to regain a sense of empowerment, it is essential for this person to realize that his beliefs are leading to the emotional consequences – and that, however, gradually and slowly, he can begin to modify his beliefs.nnThe New LinennIt's at this point that I sometimes play the B-line game. I might say to this client, "Let's do a little thought experiment. Let's imagine that you wanted to connect this same A with a different C. Instead of connecting this adversity to the consequence of worry and depression, let's say you instead wanted to connect this adversity with the consequence of relief. What new B-line – set of beliefs – could you adopt?"nnAdversity (job loss) -> ??? -> Consequence of reliefnnMy clients often raise their eyebrows at this point. Connect this same adversity to the consequence of relief? The man might struggle to identify a new line of beliefs. However, let's say that – for the sake of the game – he eventually comes up with the following:nn "That old job was actually quite boring and stagnant."n "This is a good opportunity for some career development."n "At least I won't have to deal with that critical boss of mine every day!"nnGood work! That new belief-line connects the original adversity to a new consequence of relief. nnAdversity (job loss) -> new Beliefs -> Consequence of reliefnnThe A didn't change, but the B's did. And the C's followed the new B-line.nnTo continue the game, let's say that the client now wants to connect the A to a C of anger. What would his B-line to anger look like? Perhaps something like this:nn "This is incredibly poor treatment for such a loyal employee."n "This company is shooting themselves in the foot. How stupid could they be?"n "These people who make these layoff decisions are so short-sighted."nnThat new B-line will tie the original A to the new C of anger. The A is the same, but the C has changed:nnAdversity (job loss) -> new Beliefs -> Consequence of angernnHow about a B-line that connects the A to a C of delight? Perhaps the beliefs would look like this:nn "Thank goodness! I'll finally have some time to spend with my family!"n "This gives me the opportunity to try that entrepreneurial project I've been dreaming about!"n "Perhaps if we use this experience to simplify our lives, I'll be able to work only part-time for the rest of my career!"nnNot bad… that B-line will lead to the consequence of delight.nnAdversity (job loss) -> new Beliefs -> Consequence of delightnnNow, I wouldn't expect anyone (including myself) to be able to so fluidly shift the B-lines. But I consider it essential to see that they can be shifted, and that they can connect any A to any C. This realization can help us to regain a sense of empowerment. It is an important part of cognitive therapy.nnThe Spiritual B-LinennLet me now briefly discuss how this ties in to spiritual growth. nnA Course in Miracles – along with many other spiritual texts – offers a central message in many different forms. The message is this: nn What you now believe about yourself is filling your mind with fear, guilt, anger, and loneliness. But you can change what you believe at any time, and your experiences will follow.nnThis is just another way of expressing the ABC model.nnNo matter what adversities happen in our lives, many of us hold beliefs that say things like this:nn "I'm so flawed and vulnerable."n "I'm basically all alone in the world."n "I have to watch out for my personal interests."n "It's so hard to find a real loving connection."nn… and similar types of beliefs that create distressing consequences.nnHowever, the Course offers a completely different B-line – a different set of beliefs. It says, by contrast:nn "You are an indescribably beautiful Child of God."n "You are eternally connected to every living thing."n "All is forgiven; your mistakes will be corrected."n "Love will come to you the instant you offer it."nn…and a thousand other similar beliefs.nnThis new "spiritual B-line" leads to new consequences of peace, hope, and joy – and experiences of connection, wisdom, empowerment, and love. Those new consequences will in turn reinforce the new beliefs, and a virtuous upward spiral will begin to form. The Course calls this the process of healing, or awakening.nnBefore that upward spiral can form, however, it's essential that we take ownership of our current B-lines. We are choosing to hold our beliefs, and we are free to choose another set. As we accept that, we can begin the process of sorting through our old belief system and exchanging unloving B-lines for divinely-inspired alternatives. The C's will naturally follow.nnAgain, as I mentioned earlier, this isn't necessarily an easy process. It does, in fact, take both enormous honesty and a significant amount of practice. In future newsletters, I will share methods for shifting the B-lines – including a technique that I often use with my clients in which we "curve" the existing lines rather than try to replace them outright.nnBefore we can do any of that work, however, we have to remind ourselves – over and over – that the A's do not directly cause the C's. And the C's don't come out of thin air. nnInstead, the C's come from the B's – the beliefs we hold about ourselves, about other people, about the future, the past, and the world. Every belief of ours leads to a consequence. And every one can be changed in a positive direction.nnThis article originally appeared in Dan's Quiet Mind newsletter. You can also read additional information on Dan's cogintive therapy information site.