Article

The Truth About Anticipating Grief

Topic: Grief and LossPublished March 5, 2009

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The thought and feeling that our loved one is going to die is never a consoling fact. Hence, anticipating grief is not an easy thing to do for everyone else involved. Anticipating grief is the period during which a family member or a patient is expected to die. This sorrow is somewhat the same to the after-effects of losing someone you love. The emotions felt are the same feeling of loss and it just hurts as bad. It is no less different than when one has gone through a sudden or tragic death of a loved one. It comes with some of the similar emotions of shock, denial and guilt and is related with social and cultural reactions regarding the loss. nnAnd because some people are still in a state of denial they may not go through anticipatory grief. Their grief will happen after the loss of their beloved. The grief experienced before the demise doesn’t shorten the grief after the demise. It’s still the same sorrowful grieving process and it does not make any better way to endure. The only distinction between anticipating grief and coping with a sudden loss is that it gives the entire clan some time to talk and spend the remaining time with the person as well as accepting and coming to terms in the reality of their demise. nnThere is still time left to talk about things that were kept as secrets. There is still time left to make any amends to the existing relationships. There is still time left to finally forgive any faults or mistakes in the past. And there is till time left to hear and carry out the last dying wishes of a parting loved one. This grief in anticipating the demise of someone we love builds a great concern for the dying person, painful and sorrowful preparation of the departure of the loved one, and making the necessary adjustments in living without our dearest beloved. nnWhen somebody dies suddenly and so tragically, the pain that goes with it could be more overwhelming than that of anticipatory grief because of the shock and trauma. There is not even a warning signal or no more time left to reminisce the past with the person. This puts the bereaved in a corner to confront the unexpected which could minimize the coping capacities of that person and make normalcy seem so far away. The impact of that great loss might be hard to imagine and may not be realized right away. Thus, acceptance seems barely discernible. Learning to accept the possibility of the passing of a loved one would leave you feeling that you are slowly abandoning that person. nnExpecting the death might only build more emotional attachment to the dying person even stronger which doesn’t make it any way easier to accept the future. The dying person on the other hand also undergoes pain for leaving everyone and makes it more painful and unbearable for everybody involved. No matter how our loved one dies, it all depends on each person and how much they cope with grief in their lives.

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