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If you’re like many people right now, you’ll be preparing for the festive season. Whether you'll be celebrating Christmas, Hanukah, or Diwali, you’re probably just about flat out by now, rushing headlong to the holidays! nnA typical modern woman in the lead-up to Christmas: nn· She’s at full tilt, a cranberry muffin in one hand, a roll of sticky tape in the other, and trailing lists and tinsel as she hurtles from shops to the office party, to the school play. Her feet are killing her, but she can’t sit down in her "shapewear". nn· She often looks distracted (due to a niggling feeling that there’s someone she’s forgotten to buy a present for). And from time to time, she can be heard muttering “It’s alright for Nigella…” nnDoes this sound like anyone you know!? Could it perhaps … be YOU? nn-----------------------------------------------nA Perfect Image of the “Perfect Festive Season”n-----------------------------------------------nDespite this being the season of “Peace and Goodwill” a lot of folks are far from being filled with inner peace. Perhaps because they’re too busy trying to fulfil the impossible… which is …nn… To create – in the words of this month’s Good Housekeeping - the “Best Ever Christmas”. nnWhy are they trying to do this? Because pretty much every magazine and advert out there is exhorting everyone to do it. That’s why! nnAnd the implication is: if you don’t have your "Best Ever” Christmas, then you’re failing. nnOh no! You might just have a merely “good” time, instead of the absolute sparkliest, snowiest, most glamorous, super-fantabulous festivities EVER!!!! nnAnd yet… And yet… nn-------------------------------nThe Real Blessings of Christmasn-------------------------------nCan you feel it? Just be still and quiet for a minute. There…. No …. Yes – there it is.....nA quiet longing. For the real blessings of this holiday season: nnFor love. For joy and peace. The co-creation of fond memories. And bright hopes for the future. nnEven if your culture doesn’t include a religious celebration at mid-winter, these very human needs are highlighted at this time of year. nn-----------------------nThe Price of Perfectionn-----------------------nFor far too many folk, the holidays mean stress and more stress. Some say that it’s due to the enforced proximity of family members you can avoid the rest of the year! nnI think it’s more to do with the comparison of the “perfect festive season” with the one you’re actually having. nnNow I talk a lot about how you can live your best life. By this I mean: the life you’re longing for – a life that encompasses the things you really need and want. nnDoes your best life really include Christmases that have to “measure up” to some air-brushed ideal? While you’re so frazzled that you just want to collapse on the sofa with the largest glass of wine you can find? nnDoes the true message of mid-winter boil down to the perfect gift, perfectly wrapped under the perfect tree in the perfectly lit drawing room? (See any lifestyle magazine for an example.) nn----------------------------nThe Curse of the White Witchn----------------------------nOh…, but Helen (you cry), these images are so seductive! nnWell, of course they are. This festive season holds great power (especially for those of us in the northern hemisphere). The still-point of mid-winter has been celebrated back into ancient times. nnAnd the magazines, and the TV ads, play on our very real desire for warmth and light and community at this cold, dark and dismal time of year. nnI love the sparkle and glow of it all too. As a child, I was horrified by the White Witch in the Narnia stories, who made it “always Winter and never Christmas”. nnIt’s just that, having to create your “Best Ever” Christmas, (and presumably your Best, Best Ever one next year) sounds like almost as much of a curse! nn---------------------------nWarmth, Light and Communityn---------------------------nThe truth is, the glow you’re seeking is not to be found on the high street. nnThe secret to breaking the curse of “best ever” is simple: Remember what really matters. nnSo as you zoom from one task to the next, and especially if you are feeling stressed by the pressure of “Best Ever”, bear in mind that the only things that actually matter are the things that really matter to you. nnMid-winter celebrations – however you define them - are about light returning out of dark, and a promise of renewal to come. nnAnd that’s something we all could use. nnIn that spirit, here are some practical steps for gathering Christmas blessings you can spend the rest of the year counting… nn-----------------------------------------------------------nAn invitation to slow down, and open up to the magic of the season… n-----------------------------------------------------------n· For inner riches: take moments every day to remember how much you love your friends and family, and are loved by them.n n· Give a priceless gift – without spending a penny: Who might you have been taking for granted? Write a letter to them, telling them how much you love and appreciate them – and why. Be specific. (Write by hand, not email – handwritten has so much more power – and makes a lovely keepsake.)nn· For inner peace: What do you consider are your worst failings? Forgive yourself - out loud. Make it formal: “I totally forgive myself for…..” Wipe your inner slate clean. Remember: Without forgiveness, there can be no peace, only truce. nn· More inner peace: And while you’re at it, what about forgiving Auntie Annie, and your mother-in-law, and anyone else you’re holding a seasonal grudge against. Because, you know what? They’ve got a perfect Christmas (or Diwali, or whatever) that they’re trying to measure up to too.nn· For empowerment: As the year turns, our thoughts, quite rightly, turn to reflection and anticipation. Schedule some quiet time – just for you. Reflect on the year gone past and ask yourself: "What do I want to have happen in 2009?” Write resolutions. Mean it.nn· For inner blessings: We none of us know what’s round the corner. When you’re rushing, or stressed, what’s happening around you can be just background noise. By deliberately paying attention, (noting sounds, sights, smells, colours, sensations…) you can actively create good memories. Memories that will warm you in the coming years, whatever happens in your life.nn· For relaxation: There is so much “doing” at this time of year. Make time just to BE with loved ones, or with yourself. nn· Remember: Trying to achieve the impossible airbrushed “lifestyle TV” view of Christmas is a sure recipe for stress. Does it really matter whether you have the perfect Christmas napkins or not? Just ask yourself, “What sort of memories do I want for myself and my loved ones?” Concentrate on that. Forget the rest.nnMy very warmest festive wishes to you and yours.nHelen Ross-Hamiltonn(Holistic Coach)