You Want To Have Sex With THIS Body?

You Want To Have Sex With THIS Body?
By Jan Tincher

So. You have a neat relationship. You want to take it a step further, but you've got stretch marks from your babies. Or you've got moles in funny places. Or birthmarks nobody has seen since your grew out of diapers. Or something else you consider a defect.

You love your spouse, but you've been married a long time, and you don't have the same body you had ten, twenty, thirty, forty years ago. Maybe you are thinking your spouse doesn't like it anymore.

Your body grew older, but your mind didn't. You still like sex, but you noticed your partner has looked at your body differently.

When your spouse kisses you, does he/she actually see all those wrinkles on your face? Your big nose? Crooked teeth? When he/she touches your ears, does he/she have noooo trouble at all finding them?

Everyone has to get past something. Once the bloom is off, or the blinders removed, or whatever, how are you going to handle it?

Well, with some, there's nothing to do but get past it. I repeat, GET PAST IT! And guess what -- your spouse probably won't get past it until YOU do!

On the other hand, you know where the problem comes from? *See me tapping my head?* Everyone is more acquainted with their own problem than anyone else. Therefore, where is your mind? On the problem you just KNOW the other person is thinking about? Most of the time your spouse *isn't* thinking about it. Unfortunately, the rest of the time your spouse kind of senses what you are thinking about and that's where his/her their mind goes.

Have you ever heard the saying, "People live up to your expectations"? Well, guess what? If you are *expecting* them to notice all of the above, you can pretty much figure they do.

Now, to the meat of the matter. Before you encounter such a *situation* again, make a decision to do this: Stop thinking that way. The minute you have those thoughts in your mind, do the CANCEL, CANCEL technique!
*** If you don't know it,

E-mail me at mailto:takecharge@tameyourbrain.com ***

Then, what do you do?

Get in touch with the inner you.

Think of your good attributes. Feel how good *that* feels! Then, take your mind to what is important -- the feelings you share with each other. The *mole* might always be there. If that's the case, you are going to have to do what? Get past it!

Getting past it doesn't have to be difficult. Here's one way to do it. Every evening OR morning OR afte
oon -- pick the time and keep to it -- take out a tablet and a pen, preferably one that flows beautifully. I have a gel pen and I love it. I keep my tablet and pen in a portable 9" x 18" *desk.* I open the lid, take them out, and write on top of the desk. It is all very handy.

Here is what I write. A whole page of *I love . . .* I write down what I love. You can, too. Here are some examples: I love my beautiful new carpeting, new bed, new car, whatever. I love being a mom, grandmother, dad, grandfather, lover, etc. I love my mom, grandmother, dad, grandfather, lover, etc. And you don't have to have the new carpeting, bed, car, or any of the other, either. It's the feeling you get when you write down you love something. This attracts what you want, or it enhances what you already have and are acknowledging. Once you've done this daily, for at least 21 days, then, all you have to do is think on that experience of writing, or those things that you write about, and a good feeling comes over you.

Now, are you ready for the next step? Don't freeze up. Let your partner see the problem area, let them get past it, keep showing the inner you. Let your partner see the problem area, let them get past it, keep showing the inner you. Keep it up. All the while they are coming to terms with it, keep your eyes on theirs, whether they are looking at yours or not. Let the love shine through that says, *I know there is something different about me. Everyone has something different about them. I have chosen not to let it bother me. If you want to get past it, I am here for you.*

Get past the *moles,* and let the inner you shine. That's who he/she will be making love with. All the other is just icing. Don't let your hang-ups hinder your love life. Love is what we are here for. Making love is a part of it.

This is a lesson for all of life. Let people see you, warts and all, help them get past it, let the inner you shine, and enjoy Life.

I guess if they can't get past it, you might want to learn to say loud and clear, "NEXT!" nn~~~~~~~~~

Copyright 2001, Jan Tincher, All Rights Reserved Worldwide

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