Vipassana Journey

Vipassana Journey nBy Ben Pauley nnMy spiritual life began a few years back while backpacking around Canada – an unusual place to discover a high spiritual path which was to change my life forever for the better. I went there seeking fun, excitement and adventure and after many highs and lows I discovered I was searching for the wrong things in all the wrong places. Canada is a land of extreme beauty and after six months I had seen it all; the amazing wildlife, the stunning mountains and the grand forests which protect thousands of unpolluted rivers and streams. I remember hiking for three days on Vancouver Island, a world class hiking paradise which is heavily protected from mining and logging and thinking to myself; I’m still not happy. I remember climbing a remote mountain in Alaska, getting to the top and seeing the most magnificent awe-inspiring view of the Skagway river meandering through a deep forested valley, sliding past the historic gold rush town of Skagway and finally finding its way into the clear sparkling blue ocean. Still I had an underlying yearning for something more. I was still completely unsatisfied. nnI thought, maybe if I was in love right now I would feel satisfied but deep down I knew otherwise having been in love before and still feeling insecure, so attached and tense, always hoping it would never end and always fearing that it some day would. Maybe I need a good party I thought, perhaps that will knock me out of this stupor, so I travelled to Dawson City which in summer stays light for 24 hours – plenty of time to party and lucky for me there was a three day music festival. Lucky because after three days of feeling like I had made a wrong decision I decided to try something different. Something that would make me feel stable, secure and balanced. My quest for adventure had ended and my quest for peace had begun. It was time to learn how to meditate.nnI first heard about Vipassana meditation about two years earlier while in Copenhagen. I overheard someone talking about it and the only thing I remember was her saying “it’s ten days in silence and all you can do is meditate and walk around the garden”. It didn’t interest me at all but for some reason it stuck in my mind. The next time I heard it on an organic farm near Montreal from an elderly man and a young couple who were volunteering there. He had been helping to cook the vegetarian food for some Vipassana courses being taught in American prisons. When he told me more about it and I told him it sounded like fun he was quite amused. ‘I’ve searched for fun my whole life and this is much much better” he said. Here was a man so at peace with himself and although I was tempted I still did not sign up for a course. It was only after the adventuring described earlier that I made my way down to the Vipassana centre in British Columbia to experience something that was to change my life forever for the better.nnI knew it would be a challenge for me and it was. Sitting still for 10 minutes was difficult for me beforehand and at Vipassana I was required to sit for over ten hours a day without any distractions – no reading, no writing, no music and no speaking. Starting time was 4:30 am, I was only allowed to eat fruit after noon and the only form of exercise was walking. Despite my concerns the teacher Mr S.N Goenka said all these rules are designed for the student to get the most benefit so I surrendered, put my scepticism aside and worked according to the timetable and rules. I worked hard and never missed a meditation session. The meditation hall was so still and at times it felt like there was no-one else in the room despite it being crowded with 70 people. I was amazed by everyones discipline, quietness and consideration for others. People that were late for a session would tiptoe into the room so as not to disturb everyone else. This brought within me a feeling of respect for others after realising that I had spent most of life in a selfish existence, only considering my own needs most of the time. The course helped me tremendously to come out of my own ego and develop feelings of compassion and goodwill towards others and my anger, fear, jealousy, craving and anxiety all decreased. nnI had absolutely no idea what experience I was going to have and I feel fortunate that I went in with no expectations. Previous meditators had told me that it was the essence of what the Buddha taught but that it was taught in a way that was non-sectarian, free from dogmas and blind beliefs. This appealed to me because I have always had an aversion to religion and I discovered after ten days there was not a trace of religion or sectarianism involved. We were told to only believe what we experienced ourselves. I discovered by my own direct experience that craving for things I didn’t have was causing my suffering and the way out of this suffering is awareness, equanimity and direct experiential understanding of impermanence. Out of these three things compassion, kindness and joy in seeing the success of others naturally develop in the mind. nnI am forever grateful to Vipassana for teaching me how to do live in harmony with nature and society. I now meditate 2 hours every day which may seem like a lot to some people but actually they are the most important two hours of my day. If you’re looking for a path of self realisation and mental purification then Vipassana might be what you’re after.nnwww.dhamma.orgn