What's In It For You?

Have you ever wondered why pets are such a joy to have around?nnI have, and the conclusion I came to was that they always give love, no matter what mood you're in. Their basic nature is one of love and all they ask often, is that we feed them. Some pets want a bit more but in any event what they give in return is immeasurable.nnWith humans on the other hand, it's not very common that we give without some expectation for something in return (even if on the surface it seems like we're giving selflessly).nnThis wanting for something is part of the reason (and maybe a huge part) for why we often distrust or are skeptical of people. Everyone's always looking for something through their favourite radio station - WII FM (What's In It For Me)!nnThe reason why we become so egocentric and distrustful goes back to childhood. Children, like pets, give love naturally and the adults around them (usually the parents) take that love and use it to fill their own need for love. (Don't get me wrong, parents do the best they can to raise children as best they know how, it's just that their own unresolved pain from childhood sits under the surface and children absorb that pain without anyone realising it.)nnChildren have an open heart and while the love we feel pours out of their heart, they also absorbs the pain and negativity around them through the open heart as well. The negative emotion absorbed becomes so great that the only way to survive is to shut the heart down energetically (emotional level) and unconsciously become distrustful of people as a way of protection going forward.nnSo as an adult, you now have a choice, if you want to begin to connect more with the world, the key is to firstly accept that there is a part of you that experienced a lot of pain as a child and secondly be aware of when you're looking to have that pain taken care of by others through looking to take something from them.nnNote, the taking from someone is often not a physical thing, it's an energetic thing, e.g. notice how you feel when you're speaking to someone you know:nn· You may be excited about something and you're looking for them to give you feedback by being excited for you, orn· Some drama has happened and you're looking for them to be surprised or outraged with you.nnThis is quite subtle to start with but as you bring more awareness to it, it becomes more obvious.nnRemember, it's the expectation for a certain reaction from someone else that gives you something (a feeling), this is how you "take" on an energetic level.nnSo if you want to change this trait, then mindfulness is the key. Increasing the awareness you have in what you think, say and do is the way you begin to free yourself from everything you took on as a child.