Shutting up that restless chatterbox is impossible. When things go awry judgmental clatter attacks hurling reminders of worthlessness and stupidity without mercy. It poisons thoughts with self-condemnation, feelings of inadequacy and failure. Everybody knows the drill. Disgrace and shame reinforce the belief you can’t do anything right, humiliating you into submission. nnEver wished there were a switch? Its ranting is tiresome and painful. Though it's not an independent entity, it feels like it. Locating an exorcist isn’t too far off. The odds are stacked. Self-belief is a fantasy. "Helpless" barely scratches the surface. The ceaseless racket never fails to destroy concentration or a good nights sleep. Exactly how depression sets in.nnWonder how this demon grew to such proportions? How such an intolerable amount of self-loathing, self-neglect and self-pity decided to homestead? Overlooking the fact, you wholeheartedly accept this as reality without question. It's not by accident. Self-doubt is acquired. It’s not part of the initial package. You arrived, problem free. Innocent and pure, like freshly poured cement. No imprints on your soul. You were free of condemnation, had no fear and openly took in new experiences. Things changed. Relationships faltered. You noticed different actions created varying results, paying close attention. Some reactions felt warm and loving. Others felt uncomfortable. Figuring out how to cope and survive was the utmost importance.nnYou wanted love and support, to be valued and get along. As time passed impressions were stamped into memory. What appeared successful was categorized and logged in. Experiences repeated shaping unnatural patterns. You couldn’t be you. Things worked better when you obeyed. Catching on quickly, condescending and stuffing took the place of honoring how you felt. It hurt. You gradually came to accept that coping and self-denial were the same. Like speaking a foreign language, you mastered what was taught.nnSelf-denial formed deep ruts and potholes, making life's highway rocky. You haven’t stopped for necessary repairs. The road isn’t level enough for a smooth drive. That's why you fall apart inside and beat yourself up. You live in the past. It's time to learn a new emotional language. Ever noticed the similarity between the past and people you meet? The way you react hasn't changed. Outwardly you're an adult inwardly it’s not much different. Like then, you believe pacifying fixes problems. Has it ever worked?nnThat chatterbox can't help itself. Repressed emotions demand attention. You've stretched the limit of avoidance. Like a holding tank, it needs to be emptied. Unbearable pressure needs defusing. Take action. Learn a new emotional language. Expand. The way to end the insanity is to mature and move on. Risk new experiences, take chances, speak up and say what you feel. Let go. Do the opposite. If you want to speak Italian it takes practice. nnUse these techniques to weather emotional storms: Live right NOW. Not one second into the future or one second into the past. Cling to NOW. It’s a life saver. Why? Staying NOW ends thinking. Ghastly thoughts can't bombard. It cuts off the past and stops future projection. NOW contains nothing but NOW. Staying NOW eliminates problems. That's the relief! Mulling builds them. Not thinking kills them. NOW, in this moment, nothing can harm you. NOW is peace. nnAfter the mind-storm subsides, locate what triggered the attack. Witness your thoughts. Write them down. Look for clues or patterns. What triggered the backlash? The answer is there. Face threatening thoughts. nnLastly, use your mind to erase fear. Turn it back on itself. Make it real. Play it up to the hilt. You may cry, feel angry, hateful or sick. Safely repeat the scene over and over until it's boring. Like a movie you've watched many times, this defuses the power emotions hold. Why? You are feeling and accepting them. The only way that monkey-mind beats you up is if you let it. Problems can be solved. You aren't helpless. Act that way!nnFor further information: Patricia Zerman founded the Atlanta Center for Attitudinal Awareness in 1988, a safe environment that teaches how to risk living what self-help books talk about with proven results! (
www.patzerman.com or
www.tacfaa.com) She recently wrote, Twelve Guaranteed Ways To Stay Miserable (Or Change), an illustrated humorous book that take a poignant look at what we do to ourselves and how to stop it! (
www.twelveguaranteedwaystostaymiserableorchange.com) nnShutting up the chatterbox is impossible. Know the drill? Self-doubt rises. Depression sets in. You want love, support, to be valued, relationships that work but experience shaped unnatural patterns. Coping and self-denial formed deep emotional ruts. Repressed emotions demand attention. Take action. Risk new experiences, take chances, say what you feel. Do the opposite, practice speaking up. The only way that monkey-mind beats you up is if you let it. You aren't helpless. Act that way!nnnnnnnnnn