Article

Why Do We Resist Love?

Topic: LoveFeaturing Bella ShingPublished September 3, 2008

Legacy signals

Legacy popularity: 4,770 legacy views

There's a beautiful book by Gyorgy Dozci called the Power of Limits. And in this book, the author illustrates how all matter and form has limits, edges, and boundaries. In order to define different aspects of creation, there must be limits. Limits of height, weight, speed. Definition of colors, of shapes, of how flowers blossom, trees climb, webs are woven all depend on the power of limits.

Simple concept and yet very profound.

As spiritual beings, I'm sure many of us have wondered why we can't just instantly fly, apparate and disapparate like in the Potter books (not to say you can't but in most cases, we don't) Through the course of my life as I have marveled at the exquisiteness of creation on this planet, I have come to understand that it is often through its limitations that much beauty and pleasure can be experienced.

For example, a delicious meal is more delicious because of the limitations and definitions of the plate, the coloring of the food, the contrast of something light and something heavy (ie: Chocolate Souffle with ice cream), the souffle being light of course!

And when you think of dancers, it's the way that gravity limits them that gives rise to the oohs and ahs when the are able to fly across the stage, or dance on the very tips of their toes as if it required no effort at all.

So friction, gravity, traction, resistance is often necessary for the contrast needed for creativity.

And in the realm of human relationships this is also true. To value a relationship where communication, purpose, commitment, empowerment, honoring, tende
ess, respect, devotion, remembering, marveling, excitement, mystery, romance, surprise can occur, the opposite needs to exist as well.

It's impossible to recognize something you truly want without having understood what you don't want. And that is why I find there can be resistance when it comes to people having a beautiful relationships.

People have been accruing so many experiences that they don't like that they start to believe that it doesn't get any better. What people do not realize is that your bank account of experiences has created its opposite. That "jerk" of a boyfriend, or girlfriend, that betrayal, that ugly remark, that lack of attention, that unkindness has given rise to desiring and appreciating its opposite.

And so how does it come? I've seen it come fastest when people "get" this concept, and relax into the knowingness that the joy that is coming in has come from their individual experiences, and preferences that they have honed and developed through the living of contrast.

So resistance is valuable when you resist the neigh-saying voices,the voices that say oh yeah, things never change, or what if I get hurt again, that defines itself with "nevers, shoulds," guilt, blame, or judgment.

Because the truth is that through our experience of life, we tell the universe what we want and it gives it to us.

And I have been astounded by the physical aspect of this truth in watching the Beijing Olympics.Michael Phelps breaking the record with 8 gold medals (a few of them won on pure desire 1/100th of a second), human evolution continues to stretch the boundaries of limits, new Olympic records are always being set. if you watch how Usain Bolt broke the world record in the 100m race, this year at the Olympics in slow motion, you'll see that we are beginning to fly. nnn

Further reading

Further Reading

4 total

Article

Today, dating is no longer only about meeting partners on Tinder or going to awkward dates.rnThe dating world is evolving, and AI dating sims are leading the evolution.rnAI dating sims, like Chatalystar’s AI dating sim, provide emotional support of having a partnerrnwithout going through the stress of physically approaching a potential partner and convincingrnthem to be your dating partner. With AI dating simulators, you can personalize your virtualrncompanion for romance,

March 9, 2026

Article

Science is, at its core, a process—a framework for testing questions about the world with detailed and structured observations of it to gain knowledge and understanding. Contrary to what some may believe, the scientific process has always been a universal one, accessible to the common people, even if the largest and most newsworthy discoveries are usually left to those with greater time and resources. However, with modern technologies like AI, that reality is primed for rad

February 3, 2026

Article

Find joy As a couples coach, I often encounter couples who are trapped in unhelpful communication and behavior patterns. rnThey deeply long for change but lack the concrete tools and insight needed to break the negative spiral. rnMy experience shows that even the most ingrained problems can be solved when the couple is motivated and willing to learn new strategies. A Silent Crisis and the Path to Change Ann and John, both in their mid-forties, came to me because they felt the

August 9, 2025

Article

I love you do you say this? It is difficult for many of us in love to say this. Yesterday I read a girl's post on a forum and said her boyfriend was waiting for her to say I love you, and she was waiting for him to say-I love you. What do you ask threesome appears? How to do it? Say I love you in an e-card to avoid hesitation and embarrassment. It takes courage to say that this is the first time I've been looking for a threesome dating, because the reaction has never been kno

August 29, 2024