Wife, Mother, Goddess: A Message to Men for Mother’s Day

She’s the mother of your children, whether they’re still in diapers or already driving themselves to work. She might even be a grandmother. She’s your wife and your partner in the day-to-day management of your life, your family, your home, and maybe your business. Mother’s Day is an opportunity to honor all of that, and more. Bring on the flowers and gifts and whatever is your family tradition around this holiday.nnBut remember also that this woman, this vibrant female being, shares your bed (unless one of you snores too much!) and that too should be celebrated. So often, in the privacy of our lives behind closed doors, we forget to honor the very person whose life and breath means so much to us.nnHonoring in private can be challenging. Couples know each other so well, and ceremony seems so formal. Sexual times together may have become habitual or perhaps infrequent. Or maybe the sex is great, but the intimate bond has loosened a bit, isn’t as snug and rewarding as it was in the beginning of your relationship. This is all very natural. Much of our mating behavior is directed by our hormones. Nature very gallantly steps up to the plate when there’s a chance to propagate the species. Once mate selection is over, nature pays less attention to helping us continue that "in love" feeling. We’re left on our own to keep our intimate partnership alive.nnSex can be thought of as a Synchronized Energy eXchange - S.E.X.. Are you sharing and exchanging enough sexual energy with your partner? Michele Weiner-Davis, author of The Sex Starved Marriage, says that "Sex is important nourishment for a marriage." Is the sex you’re having nourishing your relationship?nnWomen who have lost interest in sex often find it again, when the lovemaking becomes more about love than about sex. And once that context is created, the goddess loves her orgasms! When lovemaking is more about giving her the opportunity to reveal her inner goddess, more about sharing energy and intimate presence with you rather than just satisfying a biological drive, your wife – and your life - will be transformed into radiant joy.nnSo, this Mother’s Day, consider what you can do to honor your lover’s sexual and sensual self. This is not the time for a quickie. To truly honor her, you will want to give her your undivided attention for at least an hour. You might start with drawing a bath for her, and giving her a scented oil massage. Deep strokes can be sensual; light touch is erotic. Mix them up, ask her how she would like you to touch her. Where it goes from there, is up to her. This is a ceremony in her honor.nnShe may not be comfortable – at first - receiving so much attention in this way. Assure her, and continue to assure her, that it is your intention to honor her and attend to her without concern for your own desires. Make a date to celebrate her.nnAs the mother and wife, when your husband asks what you would like for Mother’s Day, consider how a deeply meaningful and intimate experience, in your honor, might create a joyful celebration for both of you.nnDiana Daffner, author of Tantric Sex for Busy Couples.