You Against Yourself: Which Wolf Wins?

By Frosty Wooldridge

At one point in history, President Thomas Jefferson faced a national crisis. He said, “We have a wolf by the ears; he’s too dangerous to keep and he’s even more dangerous if we let him go.”

Jefferson also spoke about his own battles within himself.

You may find yourself in similar conflicts. Have you ever talked to yourself? In other words, you talk to your two selves. One “self” tells you to take one path and your other “self” tells you to take another path.

During your life, good and bad things may happen to you. You might buy a new car, but wreck in the first month. Good and otherwise people may enter your life. A good friend may compliment you while a fellow worker may torture you in multiple ways.

You may offer the world kindness, generosity and love—but experience war, suffering and jealousy from others. Once you move out of your “innocent” youthful years, the “real” world slaps you upside the head rather brutally.

You may get married to your sweetheart, but within a few years face a brutal divorce with kids in the balance. You may take a job, but the boss hurls insults and degradation mercilessly toward you. You may enjoy a best friend only to lose that person via an argument or another way totally out of your control.

I remember I married a beautiful woman out of college. Three years later, we divorced and she stuck me with a $3,000.00 credit card bill. Not so much money these days, but back then, I only made $5,400.00 a year. I carried bitter feelings. After she entered my dreams and continued in my thoughts for years, I decided to stop it. I wrote her a letter totally forgiving her. I sent it to her friend. I didn’t need a reply. I also made a decision to stop thinking about her. If she entered my thoughts, I sang a song or thought about a great movie I wanted to see. From that point, I never suffered another dream about her and she vanished from my thoughts.

For 18 years, I shared a best friendship with a man named Gary whom I respected to the highest. One day, he stopped any relationship with me. No reason. No response. No nothing. Just dropped me like a microwaved potato. I suffered painful feelings until one day, I wrote a forgiveness letter to him. I didn’t know where he lived so I just placed it in my “forgiveness” file. I stopped thinking about him. I released toward new friendships.

I discovered a similar reality from an old Cherokee Indian fable where a chief taught his grandson about life.

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One wolf is evil. He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego."

He continued, "The other wolf is good. He is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith. The same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee chief simply replied, "The wolf you feed."

These many years later, if anyone hurts me verbally or emotionally. I communicate my displeasure to them. I invite them to talk it out. If they don’t want to resolve the situation, I pull away from them. I forgive them and move toward higher energy people that support me.

In your life time, if you find yourself struggling with two wolves conflicting within your mind. You might try these solutions:

• Talk with a friend until you talk the conflict into clarity.

• You might write a diary to move the emotional “stuff” out of your head and onto paper.

• You can hire a professional therapist who may give you tools to neutralize the “negative wolf” within your mind.

• You may write down a forgiveness letter to someone who did you wrong or hurt you. Make it totally unconditional. It doesn’t matter if you send it or not. Put it in your forgiveness file.

If you find yourself struggling with the “negative wolf” within your mind or that you keep thinking about some “bad” thing or “person” who hurt you—try singing a sing a song, click on the comedy club on your computer, go for a bicycle ride, pen some poetry or anything that moves your mind away from the “groove” that pains you.

In other words, feed the “positive wolf.” Such mental and emotional discipline moves you toward your healthy emotional freedom.

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