Your Response is What Counts

Jack Canfield, co-founder of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series and author of several best-selling books, has a formula he often teaches called E+R=O. This stands for Event + Response = Outcome. Most people tend to look at the events around them or their circumstances and - whether they realize they are doing it or not - they blame their problems, where they are at, or how they feel on these things. In reality, we need to look at ourselves. How are you responding to the things that come your way?

There are many examples of people that have gone through the same or similar circumstances, where one person may end up at the top of their game and very successful, while the other is down in the dumps. Why is this, if they both experienced the same or similar events? The answer is that the one who ended up being successful responded in a positive, proactive way instead of a negative, blaming one. It's up to you to decide how you are going to response when obstacles that life throws at you come your way. The event in itself is not what determines where you end up; it is the combination of the event and your response to it.

Why is this important? If you look at how you were brought up, or the circumstances that are around you, and use those as excuses as to why you are not achieving what you would like to be, you are giving up control to outside factors you have no influence over. You are letting others control your destiny instead of you controlling it for yourself. But if you take responsibility, if you determine that you are the one that is in control, you shift the power to yourself. Nobody can make you feel angry or said; that's how you're responding to the event. A circumstance can't make you give up or be defeated; that's your response. Change your response, and you change the outcome. Reflect on how you are responding to the things that are in your life. Are you placing blame elsewhere instead of taking responsibility for your own responses? I encourage you to do this on a regular basis, consistently challenging yourself to change your response wherever it needs an adjustment. I promise you that once you start taking control back in those areas where you have given it up in blame, you will start to see huge positive changes in your outcomes.