16 ideas about changing your life. Part 2

Last week I shared 8 keys with you that are required for a person to genuinely change.

Here is part two which contains the other 8 keys.

9. Say “no” so we can say “yes”- Often we think we’ve said yes to things only to find our attention divided and our commitment weakened by a range of competing demands. It is impossible to truly say “yes” to things that are important until we have the courage to say “no” to the competition. Change comes when we get clear about what we desire to say “yes” to, and have the strength to say “no” to everything that get’s in the way. Good is the biggest enemy of best.

10. Managing will power - Studies have shown that will power is a limited resource. It is like a muscle that gets tired. Often people think change comes by gritting their teeth and just deciding to live differently, but will power alone will never be enough. Change comes when we use our will power at the right time and in the right way

11. Harnessing our emotions – Emotions are fickle, yet far more powerful than our will. There must be an emotional component to all change work otherwise we will quickly run out of motivation. Change comes when we link pleasure and pain with our desired changes so that we are emotionally invested in the goals we have set ourselves.

12. Clear the path – Obviously we don’t want to completely exte
alise our unresourceful behaviour by blaming our environment. However, Chip and Dan Heath say, “what looks like a people problem is often a situational problem’ (From the book Switch’) it is very important to deal with the exte
al situations that always seem to trip us up.

13. Knowing what we want – This is probably the most important question we can ask ourselves. “What do I really want?” When we lose sight of this, we settle for what we can get because it is safer and easier, yet the moment we become focused on what we desire more than anything else, we find the motivation to push beyond the safe, known and comfortable in search of the God given dream inside of us.

14. Take hold of choice and responsibility – Far too many people live with the illusion of no choice. While there are definitely things that happen to us that are outside of our control, we always have the ability to choose our response. Change comes when we let go of blame and excuse and realise that we are where we have chosen to be. Although this realisation is quite confronting, it is also incredibly empowering, because it means that we have the ability to choose to be somewhere else.

15. Let go of the pay off – Dr Phil’s classic line is “So how’s that working for you?” Every negative behaviour in our life that we complain about, must in some way be working for us, or we would have changed the situation by now. There are no exceptions to this rule. Change comes when we are prepared to close the account on the pay off and replace it with a reward that actually serves you.

16. Focus – What we focus on determines what we get more of and what we miss all together. Change happens when we review what we are focused on and make a decision to focus on something else. I’m sure we all know what to focus on in order to feel frustrated, discouraged and unmotivated, but the question is - what would we need to focus on in order to get the results we desire.