Relationships are a wonderful thing, but they also make our lives just a little bit more complicated. Or do they really? Could it be that all the complications and problems that pop up from time to time in your relationship could be coming from you or your partner? As people, we tend to be less than perfect, and with both partners bringing their fears, insecurities, and baggage to the relationship table, things are going to get messy, and that’s ok.rnWhat’s not ok is letting that stuff control, and ultimately, ruin your relationship with a perfectly wonderful person. Yes, relationships take work, and the first place where you should start fixing things is: yourself.rnOf course, I don’t mean becoming somebody else entirely, but making sure than some of the stuff you do, which isn’t necessarily you, gets in the way of your and your partner’s happiness. Here are 20 things I gave up to become happy in my relationship, and haven’t looked back since.rn1. Being SelfishrnYou will run into this bit of advice all the time, that it’s ok to be “selfish”. No. It’s okay to make compromises, but also to remember that it works both ways. Selfish is just about you getting what you want when you want it, without much regards for your partners feelings, plans, and needs. That’s never OK.rn2. Keeping ScorernThis one ties in with the first one. Just because you had to compromise on something that will benefit your partner, and ultimately, your relationship, doesn’t mean that they have to return the favor every single time. That would be keeping score, which is a big no-no.rn3. Never Asking for HelprnBeing a writer, I used to my own editing, which took away too much time. Nowadays, I don’t shy away from using a writing help after comparing all
essay writing reviews, even though it messes with keeping up my Superman image in front of my partner. But, we do have more time for each other, and that’s what matters.rn4. Being Passive AggressivernPassive aggression is just another name for sweeping problems under the rug in order to avoid confrontation, and then resenting your partner for it later. If something is wrong, speak your mind, don’t just say “nothing is wrong”.rn5. JealousyrnMost people will say that jealousy is a sign that you really care about someone. Hmm, not really. It’s a sign of your own insecurity. How about trusting your partner for a change? That might work.rn6. Buying My Way out of ProblemsrnGrand gestures or expensive gifts are certainly welcome, and you won’t hear your partner complaining about them, but you have to stop treating them as a means of fixing problems in your relationship, no matter how large or insignificant.rn7. Trying to Fix My PartnerrnI always hated when people did that, until I realized I’ve been doing it myself. Your partner is not something that needs fixing. You either accept them, or you don’t. If you are really into fixing things, try flipping houses for a living.rn8. People That Aren’t Really My FriendsrnYou probably have a few of those friends that have been around forever, but after you’ve hung out with them, you either feel exhausted or annoyed, or both. Friendships aren’t supposed to be like that, so maybe it’s time to for you to go your separate ways. rn9. Spending a Lot of Time on Social NetworksrnUltimately, using social media boils down to keeping track of what other people are doing, instead of living your own life. I decided it was better to actually live it, and spend time with the person I care about, instead of reading other people’s tweets.rn10. Making Myself PerfectrnGrowing as a person is one thing, but trying to be perfect is a waste of time. It’s better to work on accepting your strength and your flaws, than to obsess over every single thing that is wrong with you.rn11. Planning EverythingrnIt’s nice to have plans, but trying to control everything, and then getting annoyed about it is just pointless. Look at it this way: it’s just another chance improvise and be spontaneous. Your partner will certainly appreciate that.rn12. Trying to Impress Other PeoplernWhy should I care about what other people think? Why should I strive for something that is supposed to be the norm, when I’m perfectly happy with myself and my relationship? If you can’t answer either of these, it’s time to stop worrying about what other people think.rn13. Thoughtsof Your ExrnEither you dumped them, because there was a reason for it, or they dumped you, in which case it doesn’t matter why, because the right person for you wouldn’t do that. Either way, it’s time to stop wasting your time and emotions on them. Period.rn14. Being Stubbo
Standing up for something in a relationship is ok, but letting your ego rule you and having your way every single time is disrespectful toward your partner, and believe me, they won’t be hanging out for much longer if you keep it up.rn15. BaggagernYes, everyone brings some sort of baggage to the table, but just because your ex did this to you, or something else happened while you were with that other person, that doesn’t mean it’s a pattern that will repeat itself with your new partner, so stop treating it as such. rn16. InsecuritiesrnIt’s ok to feel less than confident at times, but you should work on changing the cause of your insecurity. Sometimes you will find that the cause is something completely irrational with no basis in reality, so why be a slave to it?rn17. Expecting My Partner to Make Me HappyrnOf course, you should be happy when you are with the person you love, but if you aren’t happy with who you are or with the way your life is, don’t treat them as a magic wand that is supposed to fix everything. They can’t, and they shouldn’t. It’s up to you.rn18. ExpectationsrnSticking religiously to your expectations means you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Approach everything, including your partner, with an open mind, instead of harboring some preconceived notions that have very little to do with reality.rn19. FearsrnThis can be anything really. Fearing that your partner will cheat on you, fearing that you will end up alone, or anything of the sort. Fear will cause you to think and act irrationally, which is a wonderful way to ruin a relationship.rn20. Asking for More than Give YourselfrnIf you aren’t happy with your partner, or if you feel like you need more from them, maybe it’s just you. Have you ever stopped to wonder if you are the one that’s giving enough? Only when you give more do you have the right to ask for more.rnLike I said, being in a relationship can be complex, but only if you let external factors and your own insecurities get the best of you. Approach things with an open mind, be open with your partner, and give it your best. Everything else is beyond your control.