21st Century Parenting from a Mom’s Point of View

Parenting seems to get harder, not easier. Today’s parents are grandparents raising their grandchildren, Teens parenting babies, Foster parents trying to give back to the community by raising some one else’s child and dozens of other scenarios. No one has prepared us for the challenges of raising children in such a quickly evolving society. From texting to sexting to kids who can’t or wont pay attention in the classroom to parents who are sandwiched between raising their tweens and caring for their elderly parents. Challenges are all around us, and answers aren’t as prevalent as the problems.rnMost of us want the best for the child we are parenting, others just feel stuck and exhausted. I find that setting boundaries is always one of the kindest things we can do for ourselves and the children we are responsible to parent. Obviously that is much easier said than done as we must realize and accept that children will ALWAYS test boundaries. If you typically give in after you’ve said no three times, you’ve trained them to persist four times. I will admit that setting boundaries and sticking to them requires a lot of energy and can be exhausting. So I suggest picking your battles.rnMy teens, who are now nearly grown, ALWAYS complain. I can fight it or I can accept it. I recently learned that if I just expected and accepted the complaining that I had the power to take the charge out of the conflict. Rather than reacting because I want to teach them gratitude, I now realize that I can model gratitude rather than correcting them insistently like I had done in the past.rnI will be taking my sons on a 24-hour plane flight soon. If they were younger, I would plan ahead and take along a special bag of toys reserved for special play like when they have to sit quietly through long church services. Today’s teens will be just as content with the games on their cell phones, but it may be wise to plan ahead and get them a new game.rnI believe that as our parenting demands grow that the need to reach out and connect with other like-minded parents is critical. Finding groups that can speak to our need was very difficult before the internet. As a foster parent I think that I wouldn’t have burned out after nine years if I had found a group like Child Share sooner. Now with the internet you don’t even have to leave your home to find wonderful groups like http://www.parentesource.com and interact with other parents that may have shared your dilemma at one time. Relax, take a deep breath, say a prayer, and then reach out, the answers are there.