Article

3 Conversation Starters Proven to Make You Friends

Topic: Friendship & LonelinessFeaturing Joshua UebergangPublished March 1, 2010

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You're at a party and see someone you want to talk to. You stand there like a statue, trying to figure out how to start a conversation with this person or anyone for that matter. What do you say? What do you do? Minutes pass and so does your opportunity. The only thing that gets stronger is your social anxiety. By the end of the party you kick yourself for not having a conversation starter to make friends. The self-criticism fuels your frustration and makes your attempts to better socialize worse. Firstly, stop beating yourself up. Get on your own side because without self-support, it becomes difficult to talk to anyone. Next, follow these three tips to start a conversation with anyone: Brighten Their Day with a Power-Packed Compliment Compliments are an effective conversation starter. When you compliment someone, they listen to what you have to say because they love to hear positive comments about themselves. If someone praises you for a good trait, you want to talk with them! Guys need to be careful complimenting a woman because it can come off as "wanting something". Effective, people-magnetic compliments are given with an authentic intent that lets the person know you really appreciate what you praise. Two examples of good compliments could be: "I love your energy because it lifts me up!" and "I had to come talk to you because I like your shirt. Where did you get it?" Look for Similarities You start a good conversation by finding a similarity you can relate to the person. Locate a piece of information that acts as a bridge to bond you two together. The bridge is a good analogy because it brings two distant objects together. I guarantee a bridge exists, you just have to find it. This is why its a guaranteed conversation starter with anyone. What are there hobbies? What do they do for work? What organizations are they members of? Do they know someone you know? What is their favorite television show? Did they go to a concert you also attended? There are infinite chances to discover your similarities with a conversational partner. The only limitation is your curiosity. When you find the similarity, explore it with interest. Ask open-ended questions. Get their opinions and feelings on the subject. Divulge your opinions and feelings on the subject while focusing on the similarities you share with your conversation partner. Become Real Do not be fake. Small talk can sometimes be fake because you put on a persona to protect your real self. Share your real thoughts and opinions on a subject while being socially intelligent. You don't start a good conversation and keep them going when your communication is ignorant of another person's needs and feelings ("I think your shirt looks ugly"). Being real is one of the 3 tips to start a conversation with anyone but only the beginning when it comes to developing effective conversation skills...

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