3 Strategies to Improving Your Connection in the NICU

The Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) is named "intensive" for a reason. Newborns, weighing less than 500 grams to over 4 kilograms, are admitted to receive the medical interventions needed for their survival. Hospital stays vary from 24 hours of observation to months, depending on the clinical conditions of the baby. By virtue of being admitted to the NICU, the newborn is separated from his or her mother and father. The advent of family centered care has minimized the separation, but it is still a concern for families. As NICU staff care for the tiniest, sickest babies, parents experience prolonged, protracted periods of stress, overwhelm, and uncertainty. Frustration sets in as days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months, and months turn to seasons.These 3 strategies offer techniques to take a deep breath into what you desire and release the frustration, stress, and overwhelm. 1. Set the intention Life does not seem to realize that your baby is hospitalized in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). Life continues with the same intensity that it had before the birth of your baby. After the initial weeks of support from family and friends, they return to their daily lives. Your life continues, but not the same as before. You may now be commuting back and forth to the hospital to spend a few hours with your baby. You may be awaiting a phone call from the hospital with updates on your baby's status. Everyday stressors are magnified during this time. Setting an intention tells the universe what you desire in advance. It prepares your mind to look for all the opportunities to have the intention realized. As you prepare for your commute to the hospital set the intention to have an easy commute. Set the intention that the traffic will cooperate, the trains or buses will be on time, and the people you encounter will be pleasant. It may not flow that easily every time, but the more you set the intention, the more things will match your intention. 2. Create a sacred space We live in a society of multitasking. We tend to be uncomfortable in silence, just sitting, and not doing anything. In today's fast paced world even time at your baby's bedside gets interrupted by the buzzing of cell phones or the latest keep-in-touch technology. When you make a commitment to create a sacred space at your baby's bedside, you allow peace and calm for yourself and your baby. You allow those minutes to hours that you spend with your baby to embody something more powerful and meaningful. You shut the rest of the world out and allow healing energy, loving energy, and positive energy to flow undisturbed. In essence you protect your own mood and emotions for outside influences. You will be available to see the tiniest of miracles, like the involuntary smiles he or she makes while sleeping. A colleague shared a story of one mom, whose baby wasn't doing well, asked the team not to round at the bedside because she wanted to maintain a healing atmosphere for her baby. What can you implement to achieve an environment of healing for you, your baby, and your family? 3. Lead with the positive There will be times when you would like some aspect of your baby's care to be handled differently. As the advocate, you are the voice for the needs of your son or daughter. When frustration is present, communication deteriorates. Communication from a place of frustration takes the form of blame and accusations. Sandwiching feedback is more effective and acknowledges what you see going well for your baby, as you make requests for change and intervention. Identify aspects of care that you appreciate and bookend or sandwich them around the 'meat' or the request for change. You benefit because you are present to what is going well. You are able to hear why a particular action has been taken and why it benefits your baby. The conversation shifts from what is not working to what is best for your baby.