3 Tips for Dealing with Jealousy

Jealousy is not one of people’s most attractive characteristics, but chances are no matter how much you wish you weren’t a jealous person you’ve had your moments of jealousy. If you are in a committed relationship jealousy or the topic of jealousy is something that’s likely to come up at some point, whether or not you consider yourself a jealous person. Even if your partner is normally very understanding there can be moments of jealous feelings and if you arm yourself with these tips for handling a jealous partner you can come away from a jealousy situation as a strong and happy couple. Tip #1: Build one another’s self-esteem. Most jealousy arises out of personal insecurities so it’s important to build your self-esteem in a constructive way or help your partner gain self-esteem so they can move beyond their jealousy issues. If you or your partner are having trouble feeling more secure, sit down together and write down a list of your positive qualities and read through it when you are feeling insecure. You can also spend time doing things that support your overall mental health such as reading a book, going for a walk, or working on fun project. Tip #2: Identify situations where feelings of jealousy come up. When you or your partner feel jealous, be sure to write down the situation, who was involved, and where it occurred. Also write down the thoughts that go through your head and what you say to yourself to overcome those feelings. If you begin to notice a pattern in when or why it’s occurring and how you handle it, then you can address the situation as a couple and possibly prevent the jealousy from happening altogether. Sometimes the answer to stopping jealousy can be easier than you think, but if you don’t record the incidences then it’s much tougher to draw situational comparisons. Tip #3: Do not jump to conclusions. So often people who experience jealous jump to the worst case scenario if their partner does something they find suspicious or out of the ordinary and this can be detrimental to a relationship especially if it leads to accusations and trust-related questions. For example, if your partner does not answer your phone call, avoid jumping to the conclusion that they must be cheating on you or that they are ignoring you. There is likely an innocent explanation and you should give them an opportunity to talk to you about it before you become accusatory. If your partner seems to be jealous much of the time for reasons that seem petty and insignificant then you may want to have a deeper discussion about their feelings to see if it truly is unwarranted or not. If it is unreasonable, then you may want to take the time to evaluate your relationship to determine if it is truly healthy or not. Most jealous moments can be dealt with quickly and painlessly, but it’s up to you to assess your own situation to determine if it’s a mild case or something more.