4 Questions To Consider Before Saying "I Do"

"How do you know when you've met the right one?” Almost everyone asks this question rnat some point in their lives; unfortunately,rnthere are not too many rnwho get a concrete answer. rnBut if you're reading this article, rnthen you're one of the lucky few. Interestingly, the criteria for rnchoosing a spouse can be reduced rnto just four key characteristics. rnIf you can find somebody with all four rnthen it's highly likely rnthat you've found your life partner. rn1) What is This Person's Core Values? Before you decide to marry someone, rnmake sure that they are fully committed rnto some kind of objective moral rnand ethical standard. rnWhether we realize it or not, rneveryone has some kind of core value rnthat is central to their personality. rnAnd when push comes to shove, rnthat value is going to be the most important thing rnin the world to that person. rnFor example: Jerry's core value is adventure. rnWhen Jerry starts to date Diana, rnhe happens to be volunteering at rnthe local Emergency Room. rnHe goes there every night, rnholds people's hands, calms them down. rnAnd Diana is thinking to herself rnthat Jerry must have a heart of gold rnif this is how he's spending his spare time. rnNow, Jerry might really have a heart of gold. rnBut he's volunteering because of his love for adventure. rnThe ER is filled with action, it's exciting. rnSo right now, Jerry's adventurousness rnhappens to be expressing itself in a kind way. rnBut that could change. rnJerry might stop volunteering, rnand start trying other adventures rnthat Diana may find unpleasant, rndangerous, or even unethical. rnHowever, if Jerry's core value rnis a commitment to goodness and caring, rnthen everything he does will rotate around that, rnincluding his marriage. rnAnd Diana will be a very lucky woman rnif she marries him. rnSo how do you get to know the true Jerry? rnSurprisingly, it's not that difficult. rnNo matter what a person's core value is, rnyou will see him or her sacrificing for it rnon a daily basis. rnIf Jerry's core value is adventure, rnthen he might risk an accident rnin order to speed through an intersection rnor arrive late at work because rnhe followed a police chase. rnIf Diana follows him carefully, rnshe'll see that he places adventure rnabove other important things on his list of priorities. rnBut if Jerry's core value is goodness, rnthen Diana will see him give up rnon certain things in order to be kind. rnIf the waiter mixes up his order, rnhe'll say thank you and eat the dish anyway. rnHe'll let the other guy cross the intersection first,rnor he might be late to work rnbecause he drove a little old lady home rnwith her groceries. rnIf Diana follows him carefully, rnthen she'll see him let go rnof some of his own desires rnin order to take care of other people. rnSo look for someone who is committed rnat the core to a higher set of values rnthat you can appreciate. rn2) Does This Person Treat Others Well? Number two is obvious: rnYou want to marry someone rnwho is going to take care of you rnand treat you well. rnHow to figure it out? Simple. rnSpend time with this person, rnand pay attention to how rnthey treat others whom they don't necessarily care about rnbecause they're not trying to charm them. rnDo they thank the attendant who pumped gas for them? rnAre they courteous to people at checkout counters? rnDo they curse out people who don't deliver on time, rnlike telephone operators or overworked waitresses? rnDo they tend to drive aggressively, rnas if there's no one else on the road? rnAsk yourself questions like these rnand take note of the answers,rnbecause they reflect characteristics rnthat will come out down the line. rnMost people don't guard themselves so carefully rnthat they'll hide how they treat others. rnSo watch them, and you'll know how they're going rnto treat you after you're married. 3) Do We Communicate Well With Each Other? In other words, make sure that you understand each other. rnThis may seem obvious, but it's not. Sometimes you can see a couple rnin a fight and they argue for an hour, rntwo hours, maybe even overnight. rnAnd then, at the end of round 16, rnit turns out that the whole thing rnwas just a misunderstanding: “Oh, I thought you meant that…That's not what you meant? rnOh, then we agree.” rnAlthough on an occasional basis rnthis can happen to anyone, rnif it's happening constantly rnthen it's not a good sign because rnthat may not change. rnIf you're constantly misunderstanding each other, rnthen you might want to put rnthis relationship on hold for a while . 4) Are We Physically Attracted to Each Other? Physical attraction is an essential part of marriage. rnYou cannot marry someone rnif you aren't physically attracted to them. rnAnd while men arrive at this conclusion somewhat quickly, rnwomen should give themselves some more time. rnVery often, a woman may not feel attracted rnto a man initially, rnbut after she gets to know him rnshe finds him much more attractive than before. A word of caution: rnAlthough physical attraction is essential, rnyou can't base a marriage on physicality. rnWhatever is going on physically rnis meant to be an expression rnof something deep that is happening rnon the emotional and spiritual level. rnThe rule is, make sure that physical attraction is there, rnbut don't get swept away by it. rnThe other three characteristics are just as important, rnif not more so. rnSo there you have it. rnThe next time you date someone, rnput what you've learned here into practice. rnIt'll save you a lot of time and heartache, rnand you might find yourself rnwalking down the aisle faster than you think.