4 Steps to Get You Clear on What Your REAL Dreams Are

Often when I ask people what their dreams are I initially get a laundry list of, quite frankly, boring things. It goes something like this…”My dream is to have lots of money, pay off my bills, repair my relationship with my partner, buy a new car, run a marathon, loose ten pounds….." After hearing a list like this my next question is, “Really? Paying off your bills is a DREAM of yours, something that makes your heart sing?” The response typically is, “Well, it’s not really a dream…..”

We all have to start somewhere, but if our “dreams” don’t excite and inspire us, no amount of taking action towards them is going to fulfill them!

So how can you get clear on what your dreams really are?

Step One – Start with a list. Go ahead; write down everything you think is a dream for you. Be sure not to edit, just write. This list should include all things both boring and exciting. Ask yourself, “If I had all the money in the world and I could not fail, what would I want?"

Step Two – Now ask yourself, “What did I not include on this list because I don’t think it could ever be a possible for me?" When I have asked clients this the answers have been inspiring and fun. One client wanted to be a race car driver. One client said that ever since she was a kid she always wanted to be an architect. Another client wanted to be a rock star! Now that’s exciting stuff!! And guess what, with some additional coaching, they all started moving in the direction of those dreams! So what is it for you? I know someone who has always dreamed of ice skating competitively and currently is doing just that! So, what is it for you? Write it down and put it at the top of your list, because believe it or not, this is true dream for you.

Step Three – Go through your list and identify anything that is a means to a dream. Anything where you think, “When I have that, then I can have that.” If you say your dream is to have a lot of money, you are focused on the means you think will create your dream. When it comes to something that you want, how many times have you heard yourself say, “When I have more money, then I will…”? When creating a dream, the trick is to keep your focus on the end results, not the means you think have to exist to create the end result. So the end result (the dream) is to take a cruise, it’s not to make enough money to take a cruise. Go through your list and eliminate all the means so that you end up with your true list of dreams.

Step Four – Prioritize your list by asking yourself, “If I could have only one dream on this list, what dream would I want to experience most?” Put that dream on a separate piece of paper and cross it off your original list. Now go back to your list and ask the same question again. Move your answer to the separate list. Continue until you you’ve run through your original list of dreams. Congratulations, you now have a list of dreams that are true to you and that will excite and inspire you until you create them!