5 Ways to Be a Cool Person

If you want to be a cool person who other people like, respect, and gravitate toward, there are just five key things you need to do to make that happen. But before I tell you what they are, let's first define what or who a cool person is. And the best way to do that is to first reveal what makes someone uncool. An uncool person is someone who tries to make themselves the center of attention and get people to admire them, because they crave attention and approval. They try to accomplish this by showing-off by bragging about how great they are or by being overly-opinionated and argumentative to demonstrate how smart they are. This just ends up turning people off. A cool person, on the other hand, is someone who does the complete opposite. Instead of trying to make themselves the center of attention, they make whoever they're talking to the center of attention. That's the core difference between cool people and uncool people, as the following tips will show you. Here's how to be a cool person...

1. Accept Others without Judging Them

Uncool people are critical and judgmental of others. They're always nitpicking other people's characters and looking for things to condemn them for. Perhaps I'm stating the obvious, but every one of us hates to be condemned and criticized. That's why cool people never criticize, condemn, or judge others. They rarely find fault with people, and they never make a spectacle of that person in front of others, which would only cause the person embarrassment. Instead, they accept everyone for who and where they are in life. They realize that nobody's perfect, including themselves. Everyone has their own set of particular issues and struggles in life. And since they expect others to accept them for where they are, they extend the same courtesy to others. Though they certainly notice other people's faults and weaknesses, they generally don't make an issue of it (so long as it's not disrespectful to them). They tolerate other peoples' short-comings, realizing life is a process of change, evolution, and growth. They realize that who a person may be today isn't necessarily who they'll be tomorrow. If you want to be a cool person, stop finding fault with others and simply accept them for where they are right now.

2. Take a Sincere Interest in Others

Uncool people talk about nothing but themselves and their own lives and interests, which generally just bores people. The focus of their conversations is themselves, and they use other people like an audience rather than a mutual partner. But cool people do the exact opposite. They put the focus on other people. They understand that everyone (in their own minds), is the most important person in the world. So they focus on talking about the most important person in the world — the other person! This is the key to having a pleasing personality, which all cool people have consciously developed. And if you don't yet have one, you can too, with practice. How do cool people take a sincere interest in others? They have a genuine desire to understand people. They want to discover what others' desires and aims are in life — what their goals and interests are — and sometimes what their frustrations and struggles are. In other words, everything that's important in the life of the person they're talking to. If you want to be a cool person, start focusing your conversations on the lives of the people you talk to, and less on your own (unless people ask you).

3. Never Gossip About Others

Very uncool people are experts at gossiping. They get pleasure from cutting other people down behind their backs. But cool people never, ever trash-talk others when they're not around. They understand that earning and keeping other peoples' trust is incredibly valuable in life, and they know that gossiping about others betrays that trust. Uncool people mistakenly think, "What people won't know won't hurt them." But they're wrong. To understand the reason, read why you shouldn't gossip. Essentially cool people practice the Golden Rule. Since they hate being gossiped about behind their backs, they extend the same courtesy to others and refuse to do it to them. They understand that when people gossip, the person listening thinks, "This person is trash-talking our friend behind their back, so I can be sure they also trash-talk me behind my back. I no longer trust or respect this person." That's why cool people never gossip. It telegraphs to others that they're an untrustworthy person. And trust is key to earning respect. If you want to be a cool person people trust and respect, make a commitment to yourself to eliminate all gossip from your conversations.

4. Consider the Best Interests of Others

Uncool people look at others and relationships in terms of only how they can benefit from it. They think only of their own interests, even if it means someone else will suffer for it. But cool people think in terms of other people's best interests, alongside their own. They "treat their neighbor as them self." Cool people focus on mutually beneficial exchanges in love and business, and never try to one-up other people by lying, cheating, stealing, or driving sharp bargains. In fact, they voluntarily go the extra mile and help others when they see the opportunity, without expecting anything in return. Everyone loves someone doing something unexpected for them that benefits them. Cool people know that being generous can make a big difference in other people's lives, and it makes them happy to know that they've made a positive difference to someone else. If you want to be a cool person, start putting yourself in other people's shoes and questioning what their needs and wants are. Then consider them, and sometimes seek to satisfy them.

5. Admire Others for Their Success

Uncool people are envious of others' successes, so instead of respecting people for their achievements, they criticize and try to cut them down. But cool people do the exact opposite. They admire and revere people for their success. Because they understand that a lot of determination and hard work went into it, and because they want to be successful themselves, they respect other peoples' success. They know that people who are successful at something — whether in terms of money, health, or relationships — they get a lot of hate from others who can't stand to see them excel. Having someone admire them is a welcomed change. Not only that, because cool people recognize that successful people want to see others succeed, instead of turning these people into enemies by criticizing them, cool people express their admiration for them and want to connect, because they know that a part of success involves learning from those who have gone before us. Besides, those who have been to hell and back, and succeeded, love to share their wisdom with those who will benefit from it. If you want to be a cool person, recognize your place in the world — recognize who's your "superior" in a given field — and seek to make friends with them instead of turning them into enemies through criticism because you may secretly envy them.