5 Ways to Support Your Child through the Difficulty of a Divorce

Children often experience the ugliest parts of their parents' divorce, feeling guilty for the demise of the marriage and feeling at a loss of whose side to choose. There are plenty of ways you can help your child work through the pain of your separation and help them learn how to accept their new life without feeling divided.

Have Back Up Plans

Depending on your ex, they might be flakey when it comes to visitation. When your child's world is already in an upheaval over the divorce, they might become more emotional than normal if the other parent doesn't show up. If the other parent is running late, say something like, "We'll wait another half hour, and if he doesn't come, we'll go have fun, too!” Let your child know you understand their disappointment and you're willing to listen to them.

Keep Your Parenting the Same

If you aren't the main custodial parent, it's hard to continue to discipline your child. You don't see them all the time and when you do have them, you want to ease their discomfort at living apart from their other parent. However, allowing them to do things like stay up late or buying them special things can only do a disservice to them. Ultimately, they need the structure they had before the divorce to keep their lives as normal as possible.

Consider a Therapist

Children can experience regressive behavior during a divorce, becoming clingy, aggressive, and antisocial. Younger kids might begin to bed wet or act out at school. These behaviors are completely normal but will be best fixed with the help of a therapist who is trained to help emotionally regressive children.

Don't Badmouth Your Ex

Telling your kids that your ex isn't paying child support or their mother is being unreasonable does more harm than good to your kids. They don't need to see the anger between their parents; instead they need to see that their parents can still work together for the good of their children. Your kids should know absolutely nothing about child support, alimony, or custody disagreements. If you're finding it difficult to keep these things to yourself, you should find the help of a good therapist or a friend to confide in.

Keep Your Usual Routines

While major changes like relocation might be unavoidable during a divorce, it's best to keep everything else as routine as possible. Keep their school and extracurricular activities as regular as possible, and try to allow them the same amount of time with friends and extended family as they had before the divorce. Keeping every other part of their life the same can do wonders for diminishing anxiety.

Don't let yourself fall victim to a bitter divorce that will create undue stress on your children and ruin their relationship with your ex. Allow your kids to work through the divorce in a way that works best for them, not you. If your divorce is particularly ugly, call Rogers Bussey Lawyers or other qualified law firm to work things out amicably for your children.