5 Things You Do That Guarantee Unhappiness

There are several things that you may be doing on a daily basis that are slowly bringing you results that hurt you long term. Here is a list of 5 things you may or may not be aware of that guarantee unhappiness.

1. Respecting Your Boss More Than Our Loved Ones

Some of us give our bosses, customers and people that can help us to advance professionally more respect than the people we've committed our lives to. Also, we tend to expect the love of our lives to understand why they should receive less patience, understanding, effort, support, and positive response than those that sign our checks. There's no mistake that making money is a necessity to live in society. However, we need to change our view so that our work supports our families rather than expecting our families to put our work above their need for the very best we can be for them.

2. Reacting Instead of Responding

We all too often react emotionally to what others say, do, or what we think they are thinking. In that reaction, there is no thought, no possibility that we are reading too much into a situation, and no understanding. Our quick emotional reaction can sometimes cause a problem when there wasn't one to begin with. After hours, days and sometimes longer, we find ourselves apologizing for a reaction that was unwarranted and unnecessary.

When we instead choose to respond, we introduce a moment of thought, which makes us seek confirmation of our understanding of the situation before putting our proverbial foot in our mouth. When we take that moment to question what we just heard, we often times save ourselves days of angst and relationship injury. We'll also find times when our understanding was spot on. In those cases we'll find that just by taking a moment to confirm understanding, the thing we would have reacted badly to before doesn't seem quite as bad.

3. Choosing Short Term Goals Over Long Term Goals

We all know this one well. Long term, we want our children to come to us when they are contemplating difficult decisions as teenagers and young adults regarding drugs, sex, and creating their future. However, right now we want them to be quiet as our favorite reality television show is on and voting is about to begin. Long term we want to lose weight, but right now our favorite food vice is calling our name. Long term, we want to change jobs or grow our businesses. However, short term, we decide to just tolerate another day on the job, and the issues with today's customer base once again dominate the “to do” list for today.

Our long-term results are made up of many short-term decisions. If our short-term decisions are not in line with our long-term goals, then our results will always be disappointing. When deciding what you want long term, also decide what you are willing to do on a daily basis to support those goals. Then, stick with your plan while monitoring your results.

4. Self Talking Yourself Out of What's Possible

Sometimes, we can be our greatest enemy. We have an idea, goal, or pending decision that we are completely inspired by. We find joy in just thinking about it. Our minds and hearts are in alignment with wanting it. At this moment, it all seems possible. That is, until we talk ourselves out of it before we even begin.

We are so used to other people telling us what we can and can't do and the "I told you so" that usually follows any setback, that we surrender before we start. We aren't willing to take the chance because we feel like we aren't worthy of that success, we believe we will fail, or because we are listening to other people's opinions over our own.

Rather than talking ourselves out of a particular direction we are passionate about, why not change your negative self-talk into reasons why it can and should work out? Remind yourself that most successful people in every business and area of life has failed multiple times before finding the winning formula. In fact many would say that it was the previous failures that provided the biggest lessons they learned to find their eventual success.

The next time you catch yourself negative self talking about anything, change your focus and immediately come up with 5 things that provide overwhelming support for why you should move forward on your idea, and how it will positively impact your life.

5. Addiction to Drama

When there is drama in our lives, there is always something to talk about that people are willing to listen to. People like to hear about the negative situations that happen in your life because it makes their life not seem so bad. In essence, your pain is their pleasure. Since people seem to listen more when we have drama to talk about and we want to be heard and accepted by others, we look for more and more drama in our lives to share with others.

The problem with all of this is that in life, you get what you focus on. Therefore, if you are looking for drama in your life, even at the subconscious level, that is exactly what you'll find. You are, in a way, secretly hoping for things to go badly in your life so that you seem more interesting to others. So, we find ourselves getting deeper and deeper into a lifestyle that we don't want to live, but that captivates our friends, families and co-workers.

Peace is also interesting. When you focus on bringing only positive things and people into your life, you'll find peace more prominently within your life. Look for the things that are going well and talk about those things. Pay attention to the people that want you to do well. Focus on the outcomes that you want instead of those you don’t want. Put all of your attention on solutions rather than dwelling on problems. The thing is, when you talk to your friends, family and co-workers, they'll still listen to you intently. The difference will be that they will wish they were able to live life as you are, rather than being glad they don't live as you do.