6 Questions on How to Teach Your Child About Winning or Losing

So what do we teach our children about winning or losing? If we teach them that winning is the only thing, they become very competitive. Not bad. Should we teach them that it is sometimes good to lose as well? What happens if they are not taught to lose? Does this not create behaviour such as cheating and using illegal substances? 1. Why should children play games or participate in sport? When children are playing games or participating in sport, certain skills are learned that might be used later in life. These skills include things like risk taking, concentration and strategy. You might have to look very careful to pick these skills up, but these skills are there (Which are the two properties that everybody goes for when playing Monopoly?). Do yourself a favour and watch your children when they are participating in games or sport. If you start looking for the risk taking or strategy skills, you will see how children use these skills when competing. Take note of these skills and discuss these with your child at the end of the game or the sporting event. Your child might have subconsciously being doing these things. It might even assist the child to become even better in how he performs! 2. At what age should I be teaching my children about winning/losing? Children need to be taught how to react when winning or losing. Research has found that children only start to understand the true meaning about winning and losing when reaching age 8. Before that age, winning is just a nice feeling and losing the opposite. That allows us as parents with some opportunities before our child reaches the age of 8. Adjust the rules for certain games and sports to suit the age of the child better. Allow your child to sometime win. Be careful to not let your child win every time. When losing, discuss the feelings the child have with him/her. Explain to your child that it is necessary to sometimes lose as well. It teaches us to work harder to become better. 3. What do kids learn from winning? The biggest and this is big, learning that come from winning is a huge boost in self esteem. We all know how important it is for kids to have a great self esteem. Kids feel a sense of accomplishment when they win. Winning gracefully is also a skill. Let you child enjoy the win, but teach him to be humble about it. 4. What does kids learn when they lose? As discussed above, winning improves a kid’s self esteem. Does this mean that losing is negative to the child’s self esteem? Not necessarily. It all depends on how we as parents position losing. We need to teach our kids to accept losing. It can also build the child’s self esteem. 5. How can we help our kids to be better losers? The same old cliché applies here: Children learn from the example we as parents set. Think about it for a minute. How do you react when you lose? What will happen if you shake your child’s hand congratulating him after he has just won a game against you (even snakes and ladders)? As parents are human beings (I hope), it is never nice to lose. A child also does not appreciate losing. Sympathise with your child and acknowledge the disappointment. Sometimes children start losing interest when it seems like they are not going to win. Teach your child to keep on going until the end. This is a much underrated life skill! Lastly, be careful as parent not to put too much pressure on your child to win. Children might see losing as a failure in their parent’s eyes. 6. What are some tips to teach your child to enjoy winning and losing? Get your child to focus on having fun, rather than focusing on winning or losing.rnTeach your child to compete against himself. Even when losing, a child can still have performed much better than previously. Talk to your child about sportsmanship. Use examples of how the best people in the world have had to work hard to get where they are now. Explain to your child that only the best can get up after a defeat. As parent, set the RIGHT example. Teach your children to be champions at winning, but also winners in defeat. Children are allowed to be competitive, but they must understand that everything is not just about winning.