7 Career Pitfalls Working Women Can Avoid To Maintain Long-Term Happiness

I’m always on the lookout for strategies that working women (especially moms) can use to improve their relationships with themselves, their partners and their kids, not to mention sharing strategies that let women be more efficient with their time, sleep more, eliminate duplication and live happier lives. Maclean’s Magazine featured an article on March 18, 2013 titled “Time to Man Up”; it highlighted the fact that women need to stop blaming the glass ceiling* and their kids for their lack of career advancement. As we head into summer vacation time, I thought this blog post would give you some food for thought. I highlight 7 Career Pitfalls women commonly experience and offer strategies for course-correcting their focus and actions. Pitfall #1 – Anticipatory Pullback: Anticipatory pullback happens when a woman thinks too far ahead and dials back her career growth effort long before she even plans to have children. It’s crucial that any woman who’s planning on staying in the workforce be her optimal self and stretch herself in her work during the years leading up to motherhood; if she doesn’t, she risks setting up a domino effect of working in a lower paying job and sacrificing time with her kids for an unfulfilling career, or working for people who are less qualified than she is. Pitfall #2 – Tunnel Vision: In the article, Betty DeVita, President of MasterCard Canada Inc., is quoted as saying, “Most women don’t look up from their day-to-day work to get clear on what their next job will be. Instead, they focus 90 or 100 per cent of their energy on making sure they deliver on their responsibilities.” DeVita recommends women remain 80 per cent focused on the responsibilities of their job and 20 per cent focused on gaining clarity about what their next job is, where are they going and what their plan is to achieve it. Pitfall #3 – No Purpose or Passion: A woman without motivation or a sense of purpose is wasting her precious time and energy. When a woman finds something she’s passionate about (like a career, her children, her life purpose), she acts accordingly; she focuses on her goal and takes the necessary steps to achieve it! A great example of a woman with purpose backed by passion is Erin Brokovich, who (despite her lack of formal law school or legal education) fought fiercely through hardship and persevered for many years to construct a case against the Pacific Gas and Electric Company; she did this to help the people in her community who had been severely wronged by this company. Pitfall #4 – Wrestling With Career AND Motherhood: Can a woman thrive in a career she loves working-motherrnAND have a family? Sure she can! The key to combining motherhood and career is to a) Know what your goal is. Why are you doing what you’re doing?rnb) Know what the driving force is (the emotion) behind your goal.Emotions fuel your fire and keep you moving forward when you feel discouraged.rnc) Get creative. Find workaround solutions that will allow you achieve your goal. Ottawa-based Networking Guru, Michael J. Hughes has this to say about goals: “We humans are goal-seeking creatures by nature. Our DNA is wired to be competitive (even with ourselves). Challenge yourself to move forward. Decide on a goal. Commit to it totally. Once you decide, stress diminishes and action follows.” Propel yourself into action by asking yourself these questions What will I be doing 20 years from now?rnWhat will I do when I’m an empty nester?rnWhat will I do when my children are grown and they’ve moved out? Pitfall #5 – Guilt: Women are experts at imposing guilt upon themselves. Women focused on their career, pursuing personal interests, raising a family and fulfilling their life’s purpose often find themselves comparing their efforts to a.Their colleagues at work – usually men, andrnb. Full-time mothers who dedicate themselves solely to their families. If you’re a working mom, striving for perfection is an insane goal. Sheryl Sandberg, Chief Operating Officer of Facebook states that, “Guilt management can be just as important as time management for mothers.” Here are three tips that you can take to heart. Accept the fact that you may not… a.Get to every sports event AND that you might opt to stay home to get some work done. b.Have a home that’s organized like you want it to be. c. Be able to do routine tasks like cleaning, cooking—you’ll likely need to ask for help. Moms today actually spend more time these days with their children than they did forty-years ago. In the 1970s, stay-at-home moms spent an average of 11-hours a week tending to their children, compared to 17-hours today. What’s changed is that parents are now expected to be more involved in their children’s daily lives, a trend known as ‘intensive mothering’. Working hours have gotten longer too, making it even more difficult to live up to both expectations. Although being a working mom isn’t easy, YOU ARE teaching your children to find creative solutions for managing time and multiple schedules. These skills will serve your children well in school and as adults in the working world. So what about the guilt and stigma around having someone else take care of your kids? Remember, it takes a village to raise a child; asking for help is often necessary. For most working women, hiring someone to watch their kids is a delicate subject–one connected to wondering how she’ll be perceived. *Will the neighbours think I’m a cold and distant mother who offloads *my mothering duties on another woman?rnWill the children develop a closer bond with the nanny than with me? Pitfall #6 – The Super Woman Cape: Fact: Work-life balance does not exist – it’s an illusion. Fact: You can never be a perfect wife, mom and working person – it’s not possible. Do your best to manage your priorities (your ‘To Do List’, your home life and your work life). When one priority demands your focus (and it will happen) in the end, what you’re striving for is a healthy ebb and flow between one priority and the next. Taming the Super Woman Cape comes down to being clear about your long-term vision for yourself and making decisions based on it. When you combine a vision with goals, concrete steps and taking action, everything falls into place. Here are some success strategies adopted by women who make over six figures: Contract out or assign more household duties to hired help and husbands. Think like a student–rather than thinking education is a debt, education is thought of as an ‘investment’. Hiring a nanny, a housekeeper, or a personal shopper is a career investment not an expense. If you plan on working full-time, freeing yourself from distractions will let you focus on your ‘work education’ which ultimately, results in more money and a more flexible schedule down the road. Have someone else run errands and cover off duties like grocery shopping and making meals. By giving up these chores you’ll have more quality time with the kids. To help with children, hire a nanny or ask for help from family. As a working mom, make sure you’re there for the important decisions, like parent-teacher conferences at your child’s school. Pitfall #7 – Lack of a Supportive Partner: Career-minded women should carefully pre-screen the men they become involved with. Professional and personal growth are enhanced or hindered by a supportive partner, or lack thereof. For any working mom who wants to follow her life path and be able to grow personally and professionally while in a relationship with a partner, (and Sandberg reinforces this) adopting the same strategy men have been using for ages makes perfect sense: Be ambitious at work (and in your passions) and find a supportive spouse to help with the kids. Conclusion When a woman is clear on who she is and what fuels her passions, she makes specific choices and pursues activities that deeply nourish her and fit in with her long-term goals. When a woman feels happy and positive about her life, it enriches her relationship with her partner and her children. The entire discussion about being a working woman boils down to personal choice and priorities. During the summer months take time to reflect on what’s meaningful for you, where your passions lay and where you need to make adjustments in your life so that you can stay focused on your personal goals.