9 Easy Steps to Boost Self-Esteem

At some point in our lives, we have all experienced low self-esteem. For some, this could be to a lesser or greater degree. Whatever the case, the purpose of this article in the first instance, is to provide a nine point strategy for boosting self-esteem.

The information provided here should also make people more aware of the contributing factors and manifestations of low self-esteem. So, for those who experience low self-esteem, it will make them more aware of what can cause it. And for those who deal on a daily basis with sufferers of low esteem, it should make them more understanding.

For reasons of time and space, we are not going to go into great detail regarding the contributing factors and manifestations of low self-esteem. We shall merely state what some of them are. Our main objective here is to provide a simple, easy to apply, nine point strategy, which put into practice, will bring positive results.

Each person that experiences low self-esteem will have their own unique set of contributing factors. Some of which they may or may not be fully aware of. It’s like when a person cries sometimes and hasn't a clue as to why. It can sometimes be the same with low self-esteem. But one thing you can be sure of, there’s an historical basis for it. In other words, in a persons life, there are specific points of reference that are linked directly to your emotional state of low self-esteem.

In the following list of contributing factors, a person experiencing low esteem will readily be able to identify some of the factors as they relate to them personally. Other factors within the list may only exist on a subconscious level. This is what was meant when we referred earlier to points of reference.

There are ten major contributing factors. These are:

* Personal limitations
* Failure to meet the expectations of others
* Unfair comparison with others
* Setting unrealistic goals
* Belittling or insults from others which harm a persons dignity
* Unhappy childhood
* Negative input
* Depression
* Race
* Absence of love

Reviewing the list, a person may identify with one or more of those contributing factors. It could be that they discover others within the list that they were not previously aware of.

What about the manifestations of low self-esteem? One writer said:” Sometimes the person with a weak identity and low self-esteem, tries to develop a false front or facade with which to face the world”.

What are some specific manifestations of low self-esteem? These could include the following:

* The “tough guy”
* The “promiscuous socialite”
* The “outrageously clad punk rocker”
* Eating disorders
* The “class clown”
* The “eager to please personality”
* Negative self-talk
* Addictions (i.e. Drugs or Alcohol etc)
* Indecisive nature
* Lack of commitment
* Lack of self-confidence
* Shyness

Now that we have identified both contributing factors and manifestations of low self-esteem, let’s focus on a simple nine point strategy to boost self-esteem.

Step 1:Examine your strengths and underdeveloped areas of your character, talents, skills, knowledge and experience. This is a simple task you can perform with a piece of paper and a pen. Create two columns. Mark one column as strengths, the other underdeveloped areas. Use this to discover who you are, what you are, and what you know and can do. This particular exercise is a powerful discovery tool!

Step 2:Acknowledge the fact that you possess strengths, talents, skills, knowledge and experience. Most people go through life, without ever considering that they have accumulated particular skills and talents during their respective years of life. You are a “somebody” not some insignificant spec! Acknowledge yourself, and you’ll boost your esteem.

Step 3:Conscientiously work on any flaws that you discovered in your self-assessment. One by one, translate those “underdeveloped areas” into strengths where possible. Remember the Serenity Prayer: “God give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other”.

Step 4:Think of your virtues. Are you studious? Patient? Compassionate? Generous? Kind? Focus on the good virtues you possess.

Step 5:Set realistic goals. Don’t shoot for the stars, otherwise disappointment is sure to be the end result. Instead, any goals you set, accomplish them in increments. Small, simple cumulative steps that make your goals easier to reach. We climb a stairway one step at a time not in one big jump! Take the same approach in setting goals for any aspect of life! If we set goals at too high a level, then we are setting ourselves up for self-sabotage.

Step 6:Do good work. When we approach any task, we must realize that the end result is a reflection of ourselves, our attitude toward doing things.

So approaching a given task conscientiously, we will fulfill the task skillfully. This will contribute toward our feeling good about ourselves.

Step 7:Do things for others. Self respect is gained not by sitting back and letting others wait on you hand and foot. It is gained by becoming actively involved in doing things for other people. Volunteer your time and energies in a worthy cause without seeking a payback. Get involved in some form of community work or charitable cause. Anything that makes a contribution to the welfare of others, this sort of doing will boost a persons self-esteem.

Step 8:Choose your associations and friends carefully. A 17 year old girl once commented:”My relationship with myself is a very unhappy one. When I’m with people who have confidence in me, I do good work. With those who treat me as an accessory to a machine, I become stupid”.

People who are high-minded or insulting make people feel bad about themselves. It is important then, that we choose as friends those truly interested in our welfare.

Step 9:”Modesty is a virtue”. In our efforts to develop self-esteem, we must aim for a balanced view of ourselves. We want to avoid thinking too highly of ourselves. Some in their efforts to gain self-confidence tend to overshoot the mark. Many become egotistical and grossly exaggerate their skills and abilities. Some elevate themselves by putting others down. Avoid that trap!

The purpose of this article, was to help individuals obtain a healthy self-esteem and personal perception. As Dr Allan Fromme once said:” a person who has an adequate conception of himself is not sad but he does not have to be deliriously happy. He is not pessimistic, but his optimism is not unbridled. He realizes that he is not the outstanding success of all time, nor his he the perennial failure”.

In your efforts to boost self-esteem, be modest. Acknowledge your assets, but don’t ignore your faults. Work on them conscientiously.

Follow through on this plan step-by-step, and your self-esteem will soar.

Remember to honor the dignity and self-esteem of those you come into contact with through your daily routine.

If you follow through on these suggestions, you will come to know the truth of the statement once uttered:”self-esteem is the ingredient that gives dignity to human existence”.