Are You Coping with Adult Dysfunctional Children?

Did you live through too many rules that you decided to have as less as possible for your children because you felt it was unfair and now you are paying the price because your children are worst off?nnOver protecting Having you been overprotecting your children at the expense of your fear of being alone or no longer in control.nnMoney problems You may have money problems because you do not know how to say no and you allow your children to manipulate the situation because you are afraid that they will not make it, and they will suffer, that you will be accuse of not being a good mother. Your difficulty with your children may create money problems that may put you and your partner into financial bankruptcy. With all the problems you are having with your children this may create a wall between you and your mate. nnDo you have rules If your children did not grow up with rules or if the rules were there and they were not reinforce then it is difficult for your children to know how to deal with others outside the home and may find that other families are too rigid.nnDo you follow through? When you say one thing and you do not follow through with your children you give them mix messages and that leaves them not knowing how to deal with situations that comes up later on in their life because they do not have a point of reference.nnTough love Tough love, you have heard it maybe many times and maybe afraid to think about doing it when comes to your children yet the opposite is a slow sabotage of your children's future when you hold back from breaking the pattern of enabling.nnPriorities Your dysfunctional child does not know how to make better choices of priority in their life they may say to you that they understand and that they will get up on time to go to the job and will continue to disappoint you.nnProblems keeping a job You may have a child who has difficulty keeping a job--either they do not like the job after a couple of days, they have difficulty in getting up or feel that the manager is against them. They will have many excuses to why not to stay in one job for long. You may say to yourself finally my child will keep this job only to feel hopeless after a couple of days because the cycle is repeated.nnDo you know your boundaries? If you did not grow up with clear boundaries lines it is difficult to teach your children what is expected of they and they have difficulties with relationships later on such as abuse, taking drugs or functioning in society.nnRebuilding Healing can and is here when you change the way you have been reacting to your children and start creating firm boundaries that you and your partner can stick with. It is necessary to understand that it will get worse before it gets better because your children know you for a person who does not keep your word and they have been able to manipulate you to get what they want. Rebuilding a new behaviour will take time and consistency from you if you feel you are having problems in doing so then reach out to groups that can give you that support you need.nnConclusion: Coping with dysfunctional children can be a thing of the pass when you know what actions to take to help your children get back on track.