Avoid Communication Disasters in Marriage

Whether it is by design, or a freak of nature, relationships were built to have problems. Often, the list-topper of relationship problems is about communication. There is healthy communication, and there is a disastrous one as well. It refers to the collapse in communication, which brings about conflicts and creates tension, leading to an argumentative environment. In marriage, communication disaster can be avoided by having continuous and meaningful conversations. When there is sharing and openness, a couple can be more understanding towards each other and eventually learns to compromise for the good of the marriage. Marital communication disasters are common, but it can be easily avoided altogether.

There are at least five ways to avoid these disasters: Men and women are wired to be different in more ways than one. Physical differences are the most prominent, as well as differences in behaviours, personalities, attitudes and reactions. In fact, studies revealed that the male brain is different from the female brain through hormonal activity in the womb. Because of this, men and women usually communicate in different ways. For instance, when a woman talks about a problem, she does so because she wants to let it off her chest. She is not necessarily looking for solutions at the moment—she simply wants to be heard.

On the other hand, men, who are wired to be goal-oriented, would perceive this differently. When he hears a problem, he will automatically suggest a solution. This would often offend the woman, because she thinks he doesn’t know how to listen and her feelings are not important to him. Being aware of these differences is important in a relationship; a lot of conflicts and communication disasters often arise simply because of these differences. Relationships need to be nurtured in order to flourish. Expressing our true feelings and thoughts is a requisite, especially in a marriage. There are times when a couple’s communication becomes superficial, like when a problem arises and one partner avoids discussing the issue.

This can cripple a marriage and can result to resentment and hostility if not addressed properly. Meaningful communication is important in order to identify the areas of potential conflict as soon as possible, and avoid the breakdown of a marital bond. An atmosphere of trust and understanding must be created in every relationship to make it work. Marriage often makes two people open up and reveal their innermost thoughts and feelings to one another. But, if a partner is constantly criticizing, ridicules and acts indifferent towards the other, the element of trust and understanding cannot survive. One common error couples make is assuming the meaning of what the other person says or do.

Although it is deeply ingrained in us as humans to make assumptions, it is a habit that should be avoided in a relationship. As much as possible, never assume the meaning behind what your spouse just said. Make things crystal clear by asking him/her what you truly meant, or what his/her action was supposed to say. It would be a lot easier to understand each other, with a lesser chance of misunderstanding. Every person has a temperament different from the others’. Our style of communication is largely affected by our individual temperaments and behavior. Knowing a spouse’s personality and temperament will give one a better understanding of the other person’s communication style, and avoid communication breakdown through conflicts and misunderstandings.

An open and meaningful communication can prevent resentment, aggression and other communication disasters that can destroy a marriage.