It is hard to put into words how much the guidance that I received from Yogi Bhajan changed my life. It all seemed so very simple. He fixed me with those eyes, full of love, and said, “All you have to be is regally graceful.” nnI had no idea what that meant. Graceful—what was that? At the time my life looked pretty good from the outside: I had a great job, a wonderful husband, and a beautiful house. Something was missing, though, deep on the inside. And now, Yogi Bhajan had given me the clue: grace.nnLooking around me at the women with whom I came into contact through my high-powered job, so many of them seemed, like me, to feel dissatisfied deep down within. They were working in a male-oriented world and had adopted male values and attitudes in order to succeed in it. They had denied and suppressed their innate femininity, killing off what was most precious in them. Worst of all, they had lost not only their own self-respect, but also that of those with whom they worked. nnI realized the answer was not for women to leave the workplace. Instead, we needed to regain those qualities that make us womanly and integrate them into our daily domestic and working lives. nnAround this time I met a very powerful woman in Indian politics. She commanded respect in a way no other woman whom I had previously met did. She was successful on her own terms and never compromised, used, or abused her femininity. Each time I met her, she would tell me stories about how she got things done. nAs a young woman in politics, she was given the unenviable role of arranging water to be piped to a very remote village in the Himalayas. Each of the previous (male) incumbents of her post had failed. Some had tried bribery, some had tried bullying, and some had not even bothered to start this mammoth project. When she visited the village, she saw how hard life was for the women, who had to carry water across the valley. She gave her word that the piped water would come. She would not let them down, but she had absolutely no idea what to do to make it happen. She thought about it for many days and then came up with a plan. Despite the impossibility of the task, she succeeded. nnHer solution was a graceful one and one that I have varied again and again over the years. She telephoned the (male) Chief Minister to invite him to come and officially open the new water pipe and got a date set in his planner for it. After that it was plain sailing. The Chief Minister’s staff was so enthused by all the positive PR he would get for the project that they saw to it that the budget was approved, the money sent, the contractors paid, and so on. To this day, the women in that valley call her “the lady of the water.” nnWhat I love about this story is that she found a way to work that was creative and that honored all the people involved. Now, that’s what I call grace. nnIn my own life, though, I just didn’t know where to start. I decided to take it one day at a time. It began to dawn on me that grace was a state of being which came when I opened up to all the wonders in life. It was when I felt at peace with and within myself so much so that I didn’t react to what was going on around me. It was when I included everybody in the picture. nnBeing graceful was not an esoteric concept either. It was highly practical and affected my behavior at a very deep level. I noticed that it became a virtuous circle. When I wasn’t needy or pushy, people responded to me differently so that I became their calm reference point. The atmosphere changed to one in which people wanted to be. They became more relaxed; I became more relaxed. Nagging and begging became things of the past. We now had a win-win situation. nnBeing graceful opened up opportunities, and my life took on a magical quality. I discovered that it was true what Yogi Bhajan had said: “When a woman maintains her grace, everything is possible.” nIf you want to see how much more is possible in your life when you are graceful, here are four areas of your life with which to start. nn1.Manners. Don’t just be polite for the sake of it. Please, say it with a genuine smile. Listen with your full attention to what the other person is saying, without putting your own story into the picture. A key aspect to work on is how much your behavior is based on the insecurities you felt as a child. The benchmark is, Did I just make today more wonderful for that person?n2.Morals. From the ancient yogic scriptures to all the world’s religions, there are codes of conduct that give a moral backdrop to our lives. It is not a question of whether you can do something without getting caught or how far you can push the boundary. The moral code is within you. The benchmark is, Can I sleep peacefully tonight? n3.Standards. For what do you stand? What do you represent to the outside world? Standards create the structure of your life, and standards are built on that to which you are committed. Integrity is the foundation. The benchmark is, How much can I be trusted?n4.Style. We each have our own ways of expressing our identities in this world. Our styles are a discreet language that impacts our surroundings subliminally. The beauty of your own style reflects how comfortable you are within yourself. How do you describe your style? Is your style noisy, untidy, trashy, or crude? Straighten this up, and start being graceful. Do you dress to display your sexuality and sensuality, or to radiate your grace? A quick test is to ask yourself, “What do people remember about me: what I was wearing or who I am?” The benchmark is, How much does my life flow with ease? nnn** This article is one of 101 great articles that were published in 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. To get complete details on “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life”, visit
http://www.selfgrowth.com/greatways2.html.