Counting the Cost of What We Do

Every choice we make has consequences. When work takes over, it has significant consequences across the whole of your life. Some consequences will be positive and others negative. It is the balance between the activity and what it costs you which determines whether you should continue with it. The trouble is, we so rarely take the time to take stock of what we are doing and the impact it has on ourselves and those around us. We are often too busy so we do things on automatic pilot and life carries on until there is a crisis which forces us to recognise that something needs to change dramatically.

Why wait for the crisis? Wouldn’t it be worth taking a little time to consider if you are living the life you really want, whether life could be better for us physically, emotionally and spiritually and our loved ones. To do this you need to allow yourself a little time to step back and to take stock.

Take a blank piece of paper and create two vertical columns.

In the left hand column create a list of everything you gain from working as you do. All the positives financial, status, self worth, fulfilment etc.

Now think about all those things which are affected negatively by your working long hours, taking work home and thinking about work even when you are with your family if you have one. All the negatives, impact on health, relationships or the lack of them, stress, lack of interests, emotional cost etc.

Ask yourself these questions:nno Think about your health-are you fit and healthy?no Are you at an ideal weight?no Do you eat a healthy diet or are there too many unhealthy lunches with clients?no Do you comfort eat when things get difficult?no Do you drink alcohol? – we often say in moderation, but define your moderation.no Do you drink alcohol every day?no Do you drink to wind down and distress?no Do you take any recreational drugs or prescribed medication to manage your stress levels? no Do you suffer from high blood pressure or anxiety?no Do you make time for exercise on a regular basis?no How do you feel about body image?

What about your intimate relationship?

If you have one –n • Does work get in the way of your existing relationship –Never/occasionally/all the timen • Are you late home often?
• Do you cancel things because of work?
• Are you preoccupied with work when you should be spending quality time with your partner?
• Could your life together be better/more passionate/more fulfilling if you had more time and energy to focus on it?

If you are not in a relationship –n • Would you like to be?
• Do you feel more confident socially than at work?
• Do you make time regularly to do something about it?
• Do you use work as an excuse not to get on with finding your soul mate?

If you are a parent –?
• How much time do you actively spend with your children?
• Do you see them before they go to bed during the week?
• Do you enjoy playing with them or are you too tired or feel awkward trying to talk to or play with them?
• When was the last time you heard them read or they saw you reading for pleasure?
• Would you rate your relationship with them as? n brilliant/good/ok/variable/difficult/non existentn • Do you feel guilty about your relationship with them?
• What is the legacy you would like to leave them with?

Do you love your life?

Do you feel as if you are on a tread mill?
Do you feel driven to succeed?
Are you fulfilled?
Do you feel good about yourself?

Think about other areas of your life and begin to count the real cost of living your life as you do.

Now think about the quality of life you would like to live
Close your eyes and dream of your perfect life. What does it look like? How does it feel? Does it sound different to your current life?

How does it differ to what you have now?

What is getting in the way? The likelihood is it is you.
If you want a different quality of life the solution is in your hands.

Whatever the economic situation, however limited you believe your choices are, doing nothing will change nothing. Even small changes done consistently can make an enormous difference to your life. Working with a coach can help enormously too.

If you learnt tomorrow that you only had 3 months to live, how would you choose to spend those ninety days? What is really important to you? What would you want to do? What would you want to say to loves ones or do with them or for them?

The great news is that you have the chance to savour the rest of your life with out the death sentence. Life is so precious, why not live every day fully, savouring the things that you truly value.

Think about the epitaph you would choose to represent your life. I doubt it would be

“They worked incredibly hard”nnnwww.graduatesolutions.co.uknwww.recoveringworkaholics.com