Emotional vs. Sexual Cheating -- Which is More Devastating?

Cheating is a sure-fire way of ruining a relationship whichever way you look at it. Of course it’s no longer news that when someone cheats on a partner, trust is lost and there is always little chance of getting it back. While this may be an all-too familiar concept for most people, the only type that is usually recognized is sexual cheating. There are actually two types: sexual and emotional. Which one is forgivable and which one is the worst? Let’s take a closer look from a woman’s point of view. Although not as well known as the sexual type, emotional cheating is actually the type that majority of women deem as more destructive in a relationship.

Men are wired to be visually stimulated, and women understand this. It is no surprise, then, if some guys have a hard time controlling their sexual appetite. However, it is a lot more painful when a woman’s partner enjoys somebody else’s personality more than hers. For her, this is an indication that she is unable to satisfy his emotional needs, and that he is no longer interested in her. What makes this kind even harder to accept is that it has less rigid boundaries. When a partner is cheating sexually, it’s easy to tell—he’s having sex with another woman and that’s that.

In emotional cheating, it’s always hard to tell, and a partner can easily deny it, to the extent of blaming it on the woman’s paranoia. So what goes on in this type of cheating? For instance, if a man has an officemate who he regularly takes out to lunch or dinner, chances are she offers him more than just a discussion about their jobs. She is most likely giving him a chance to share his thoughts and feelings which could lead to a deeper emotional companionship. Online infidelity is also a form of emotional cheating, and it is becoming more common.

A man who talks to a single specific person online, with his wife or partner complaining that he is spending too much time on the internet is guilty of this. It may be normal for him to want to talk more often to this person on the internet than to his wife or partner—a classic indication of emotional investment. Moreover, if the man has never laid eyes upon the woman, the idea of sexual gratification is much less likely to cross his mind, which makes this an example of pure emotional cheating. Women tend to feel betrayed by this because they are inclined to look for a man’s emotional and intellectual qualities when looking for a mate.

Cheating in this form is simply very hard for them to handle, since they invest heavily in the emotional aspect of the relationship. The sexual type may not be as hard for some women to take, but it’ still very destructive for a relationship. When a woman finds out that her man is having sex with another woman, she will start to doubt her own skills in bed. This can make her very insecure, wondering what the other woman is capable of that she doesn’t have. This is a very good way to end a relationship, because when a man’s cheating is exposed, this will turn her off of sex completely, which will cause him to want to cheat more.

Sexual cheating often comes as a one-night stand, and is usually only about physical satisfaction. There is no emotional connection with the other woman, and he spends time with her only because of the sexual act. The feelings he has for his wife or partner may still be the same; he could just be bored with his sex life or wants to explore other opportunities. Unfortunately, his partner would usually just break things off without giving him a chance to explain.