Finding True Love: How “Not Looking” Is the Answer!

Dianne, a long-term client of mine in her late 30s, recently celebrated her fifth nanniversary: the fifth anniversary of her own personal quest to find the man of her dreams.n nAccording to Dianne’s personal calculations, she has thus far dated 12 military men, 9 police officers, 5 fireman, 3 pilots, and 2 lawyers over the course of those years. Yes, you could say Dianne has a thing for men in uniform. (The lawyers were just flukes, she insists, having succumbed to a momentary weakness for blonde, muscular, devilishly handsome men in three-piece suits while getting her will drawn up and the fine print of a real estate contract translated, respectively.)n nDespite her best efforts to make these men fit her lifestyle and emotional nature like a glove, she has yet to find Him: her prince, her knight in shining armor, the man destined to be the One who will make her blissfully happy and emotionally complete, forever, who she believes will magically transform her life into a satisfying, deliriously happy existence. n nNo matter how I try to convince Dianne that what she seeks cannot be found, the more determined she is to prove me—and the card readings I give her—wrong. In frantic haste she scours nightclubs and the vastness of the Internet. She peruses personal ads and peers with anticipation into the face of every new male who saunters into the ad agency where she works. n nShe’s convinced that he’s out there. It’s just a matter of finding him.n nWhat Dianne fails to understand—along with a good three-quarters of the human race—is that this most lasting, pure, soul-deep kind of Love cannot be “found.” True Love finds us . . . usually, when we least expect it! When we aren’t wearing our best outfits, with our hair perfect and makeup on, when we aren’t the least bit interested in loving or being loved, True Love simply happens—if we’re willing to wait for it. n nBy waiting, I mean abandoning the urge to go out and purposefully hunt it down. I mean developing ourselves, emotionally and spiritually, to be the best we can be—living exclusively in the moment, the here and now, while concentrating on reaping deep maturity and wisdom from that moment, relying completely on our faith that when the time is right, True Love will indeed find us.n nWhen it does, that love will naturally fit like a designer glove. It will seem so right from the instant it unfolds that it might very well scare the bejesus out of you. It’s the kind of spiritual and emotional meshing depicted through the ages in movies, classic literature, paintings, and sculpture. It is so pure and complete in and of itself that it effortlessly transcends every difficulty, every hardship. It heals and restores. It brings joy and beauty to every aspect of our lives. It’s the bonding of two souls that nothing—and no one—can ever divide or conquer.n nWe have to be willing to wait for True Love, having faith that it will arrive. If we aren’t willing to wait or we lack the right amount of faith, of course, we can still find love: romantic love, sexual love, and platonic love. n nDianne found all three by dating 31 men in five years. Still, she was left wanting that “something more” and ended up getting hurt, despite how the readings she received urged her not to make emotional investments in these men, trying desperately as she was to somehow make what were essentially all the wrong relationships right.n nHow can you bring True Love into your life? The cards have told me for years that as soon as we stop trying to make True Love happen, it will. As soon as we sincerely abandon our search for that Mr. or Ms. Right, the man or woman we are destined to partner with and spend a lifetime with will quite naturally enter our lives. n nThe question is, can you wait and have faith that your mate will come for you? n nYes, of course you can. Focus on having enough faith to open yourself to the immense opportunity the Universe offers you. A scary proposition? Sure, it is. To say, “I’m going to let go, allowing Life to bring to me what it thinks I need, in its own time, in its own way, as I face my loneliness and pain, rather than dashing out to try to make Love happen on my own,” is a scary proposition, indeed. By committing yourself to this statement, you are, in essence, allowing yourself to leap the great abyss of your own emotional insecurities. From that leap comes nothing but sheer spiritual strength. n nOnce you’ve achieved that strength, True Love can’t help but find you!nn** This article is one of 101 great articles that were published in 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. To get complete details on “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life”, visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/greatways.html n