Great Expectations: The Root Of Relationship Troubles?

Have you ever thought about the issue of success in relationships? If you’ve had relationships that didn’t work out so well, I’m sure you have thought about why it didn’t work out. There are any number of conclusions you could probably come up with. For example, ‘It was all his/her fault!’ or ‘He/she was a (insert expletive here)!’.

What about evaluating relationships from your side of things? You might willingly agree that you may have had something to do with a relationship’s demise but may not be sure what that ‘something’ actually may be. That is a natural part of self-evaluation and it is one that you can grow beyond if you really try.

Chances are, a relationship that went south did so because of some effort on the part of both people. I also think that reasonable expectations have a lot to do with why relationships fail. You could get along with someone just famously. You share so many things in common but things just aren’t clicking. What’s happening there?

Expectations may be the root of such a problem. It can happen from either partner and it can be a real dividing issue between couples. I suggest a couple of simple strategies that may help you if this is an issue you faced in the past or may be facing right now.

First, make sure your expectations are reasonable. Men and women both know that the opposite sex just thinks a little differently than they do. Sometimes, though, we forget about that part and expect that our partner will just figure it out. Good luck with that one. Reasonable expectations are about respecting the differences between you and your partner and that they may not think and act like you think they will, no matter how much they want to please you and make you happy.

Second, make sure you are comfortable communicating your expectations to your partner in a relationship. If you feel this was an issue in a past relationship, maybe expectations weren’t communicated well and this cause a rift between you. Couples need to be able to talk to one another about what they expect and trust that their view on things will be respected, even if their partner disagrees.

I know from the countless experiences I’ve had in counseling people with relationship difficulties that, if a little more care had been placed on setting and communicating expectations, things may have ended up differently. It seems so simple, and that’s good because I know you can do this and have a better love life too!