How Do You Know What To Do For Sure?

How Do You Know What To Do For Sure?

By William Cottringer, Ph.D.

“Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment.”n ~ Anonymous.

How do you know what to do for sure? That is a very good question to which we should all want to know the answer, especially anyone who relies on acting on good information and right decisions in order to be successful in their relationships and work. Here are seven simple insights that make up a workable strategy to answer the title question, which I have been exploring for over 40 years:

IT’S ALL A GAMBLE AT BEST

First realize that getting complete and correct information, making the best decisions and then acting on them to be successful is all really a gamble, with several weak links and vulnerabilities along the way. The best you can do is work from a reasonable gambling strategy that seems to get the desired results that you believe in, and improve it as you go. Actually these other six insights can help build confidence in your gambling strategy.

ARM’S LENGTH TEST

Gooey feelings and rational thoughts mix like oil and water and the resulting view is never very clear. Use the ‘arm’s length’ test to separate personal feelings, turf knowledge and ego pride from the rational aspects of what makes good practical sense. This clear thinking will usually have you taking the quickest and easiest action (path of least resistance) that will get the most likely best outcome and have the least side effects.

THE KNOWING PROCESS

Be honest about what you are sure you know as actually being so. Then begin to open up to admitting what you don’t know and get busy learning what you need to know. In between, accept the reality that more information isn’t always better; however, you can make certainty better by using what information you do know smarter. The knowing process is never complete.

HAVE THE RIGHT PURPOSE

It is always productive to think about your fundamental purpose in trying to do something—why exactly are you doing it and what do you hope to gain? Also be aware that two basic processes are always going on with anything—taking things apart, dividing them up and creating chaos vs. putting things back together, unifying them and resorting order. There is a proper time and place for both these functions, but it is a very good idea not to mix them up, thinking you are doing one but actually doing the other.

UNDERSTAND YOUR FEELINGS

Misunderstood feelings can really cloud the issues and stall problem-solving or resolution of tough conflicts. They just make thinking that much more difficult. Since it is not what you know but how you feel about what you know that counts most you must understand your feelings. Work hard to articulate your gut instincts and feelings clearly and use your feelings as a helpful guide—positive ones can reassure you are moving forward in the right direction, whereas negative ones may be trying to warn you to stop, listen and rethink your approach to something to avoid continuing in the wrong direction.

FINE TUNE SENSITIVITY

We all need to become more sensitive to the point of no return before it comes and goes. The only way you can do that is to fine tune your sensitivity to knowing moments of opportunity vs. moments of danger. Often that comes from listening to your gut instincts and then scoring them for being right or wrong over a period of time. Your gut feelings are usually right but they are not always as clear as they need to be for you to understand what they are really trying to tell you.

MAINTAIN YOUR TRUE NORTH COMPASS

When all is said and done you have to let go of the need to be certain, accepting that you have put forth enough due diligence to get the best information, make the best decision and take the best action to get the best results. But before you can do that, you have to build up confidence in the reliability of the True-North Compass you have developed trough trial and error. Since this all starts out as a gamble, it all boils down to having some faith between letting go and getting the results. Never lose sight of this needed spiritual grounding. Without it, nothing else really matters. nn nnnnn