How To Say No, The Law Of Attraction Way

Telling someone who is swamped with responsibilities to 'just say no' is like telling an overweight person to 'just eat less and exercise more.' Most overweight people know intimately the 'how to lose weight' recipe, have been on many programs and diets. The problem is not lack of knowledge. It's far more complex and emotional than that. Likewise the chronically overworked person knows how to get things done - that's why they are so busy! Time management is not the problem. It's the fear of what may happen in saying no that is sabotaging their freedom. What's so scary about saying 'no'? Ask this question, and out comes a litany of 'what ifs'. Like, 'What if I say no and they are disappointed? or they judge me? or they don't like me? or they pass me over for a promotion? or argue with me? or pressure me? or abandon me?' Saying no conjures up a whole lot of pain. And this feels like a lot more pain than just taking on the task, sacrificing your workout (again), or that extra three hours of sleep, or that time with your kids. Saying no feels like a squeeze between the pain that is imagined and the pain of overworking. So what's going to kill you first? That's right - self-sacrifice. Martyrs are inspiring, but they're dead. When I was diagnosed with cancer it gave me permission to say no to a whole bunch of responsibilities that had crept up on me. After all, I had cancer, what were people going to say? Let's press the sick girl to work a little harder? It was the perfect excuse. Saying no was liberating. I started to wish I'd learned how to say no before I got so sick. Could it be that saying no could have prevented getting cancer in the first place? Well, duh! Hear me now people - you do not need to get cancer to say no and start looking after yourself. You already know this to be true. So how do you turn it around? First, acknowledge that trying to anticipate what anyone else is thinking or feeling or going to do is a fruitless waste of energy and a sure way to drive yourself nuts. You can NEVER know what someone else is thinking. Now start paying attention to what YOU are thinking - your thoughts are what cause your suffering - and are also your opportunity for freedom. Figure out what you're really afraid of in saying no. Who do you think you'll disappoint? Who do you think will judge you? Write out the 'what ifs' that are playing on your mind. Take a look at the limiting beliefs behind these thoughts. If you fear disappointing someone, then this reveals a destructive belief underneath that says, "I am a disappointment" or perhaps "I am not good enough" or perhaps "I am a failure". Release the fear energy. Use a release technique such as EFT or visualising or something experiential like acupuncture or exercise. You need to purge that stress vibe from your system. Re-program your beliefs. Next adopt new empowering beliefs such as 'I am worthy', 'I am strong', 'I am deserving'. Consolidate these beliefs with a process like Psych-K, affirmations, or scripting. Practice. The first time you say no is the hardest. It gets easier and more fun after that. There you have it. No more excuses. Time to start looking after yourself with a simple two letter word. Zoe