How to Improve Your Intimate Relationship Part 4

In this final installment of this series on how to improve your intimate relationship we will explore some needs and gender differences. When you offer your partner the challenge to rise to the occasion of meeting your needs of the moment, you offer them also, the opportunity of growth, through encouraging them to expand their love. Likewise, you grow and expand your love when you come into full presence and love with your lover.

Meeting Each Other’s Needs

Any deep relationship requires attention and intuitive connection between lovers. Here we offer examples of how the masculine energy can uplift and help empower the feminine, as it reaches out to meet her needs and conversely, how the feminine energy can invigorate and confirm the masculine as the occasion arises. Both parties must be open and attentive as to how they can meet each others needs, and how they complement each other, enriching and loving as they grow together.

Sometimes a woman will vent her anger at her man whom she sees as being able to express his sexuality freely, while deep down her issue is with her own fear of stepping up and stepping out into her own power. She may feel a deep need to achieve and succeed where she has never allowed herself to do so before. At such an archetypal moment, she needs her man to stand firm and strong in presence and love, not to try to fix her. As she works through her feeling of lack of power, she will test his power as a reflection of what she is demanding of herself.

Exploring Her Needs

This is when she needs her man to stand steadfast in his powerful masculine energy, to be non reactive to her frustration and self doubt. His strong love will allow her to break through her feeling of powerlessness and move into the stream of strength he can offer her, thus helping her activate her own inner power.

She may push him away, push him away, push him away, but only to test him; to test if he will stand in his masculine energy for her. If he keeps projecting self empowerment to her through his steadfast love, she will know he is there for her and will usually open up, surrendering to him from a base of real feeling and engagement. This is true complementarity in action, springing from deep and strong masculine energy, doing what masculinity does best: offering protection, strength and passion to her feminine opening up and receptivity.

Exploring His Needs

Often enough men find it difficult to express how they feel; it may seem to him a sign of weakness to express emotion and vulnerability, but it is there none the less. A man will tend to shut down and be emotionally inexpressive, dismissive of his feelings and needs unless he is activated. It is up to her to lighten him up with her feminine energy when she intuits that he is feeling this way. She can use her sexiness, passion, playfulness, lust, joy, fun, happiness, laughter and coyness to bring his energy to life, to complement his male passion with her delightful femininity. She can answer his needs in her own inimitable way, just as he can answer hers. This is the engagement of polarity, of complementarity at play.

In offering her feminine answer to his needs, she fulfils her own, just as he fulfils his own when he stands in his loving masculine energy for her.

True Sexual Freedom

From this place of mutual atunement and awareness of your partner’s needs, you can allow yourself to open up to freedom in expressing your sexuality with your lover. You feel alive, you are able to feel pleasure and give pleasure, to feel loving, sexy and attractive. This is the essence of intimacy: love, openness, willingness to share and enjoy each other freely, sensually and with deep love. Not from a place of what you can get, but from a place of what you can give to your beloved.

Blocks to Intimate Connection

As we have seen, the blocks to intimate connection rarely have anything to do with our partner and everything about how we perceive ourselves. No-one can cause you to feel good or bad, worthy or unworthy, only you create and label these feelings and emotions. So if you find blocks to the free flow of openness and love, see if you have any limiting beliefs holding you constrained. Work on clearing these beliefs about who you are. If you were to let go of your limiting beliefs, of who you think you are, and of how you should or should not act and feel, how do you think your partner would react? Find and relate to a more empowering and expansive self identity: inner freedom is so empowering.

Growth and Free Expression

The best way to grow is to give your partner your full love, presence and sexual energy. This beautiful interplay of masculine and feminine energies, the coming together of the yin and yang, will ensure you and your partner will enjoy the next level of sexual passion, intimacy, complementarity and playfulness. Your intimate relationship will be all you could ever hope for, growing and expanding as you grow and expand. And that, after all, is the nature of love.