Humility: The Mark Of A Great Leader

The humble leader in a sea of alpha males and females is a rare sight. And yet, if we are to usher in much-needed change in the way we conduct business on a global level, humility at the top should be the norm, not the exception. Too much ego in any endeavor gets in the way of the purpose for doing business in the first place, and that’s to be of service to the greater good.

You say, “But Debbie, in order to be successful in this world you have to have ego.” I would agree with you...to an extent. When ego knows its rightful place, which is to be of service to something greater than itself, then it’s a good thing. When ego is in service to itself, not so good!

Ego likes to compare, measure, rate, and see how it stacks up against the competition. Everything is external, including excuses, blame, judgment, hostility and frustration. Nothing is owned; it’s always someone else’s fault or problem. Imagine downed power lines, still live, spewing sparks in every direction. Duck and cover! That’s an out-of-control ego. Not a nice way to do business.

Humility or humbleness is a quality of being courteously respectful of others. It is the opposite of aggressiveness, arrogance, boastfulness, and vanity. Rather than, "Me first," humility allows us to say, "No, you first, my friend." Humility is the quality that lets us go more than halfway to meet the needs and demands of others.

Humility says the only competition you have is within. How well can you perform against your own standards? Everything is a lesson when you are open-minded and flexible in your thinking.

A Humble Leader Leads by:nn* Keeping the faith – seeing the best in people, speaking it to themn* Being a visionary – eyes on the goaln* Being a great listener – two ears, one mouth for a reasonn* Setting the example – everything matters, public and privaten* Using praise and encouragement – build self-esteem and gain loyaltyn* Sharing the credit and the rewards – No body works in a vacuumn* Taking responsibility for the overall well-being of those being led – that’s a leader’s job

There’s a saying I use frequently in my yoga class, and that’s “check your ego at the door along with your shoes!” If you bring your ego onto your yoga mat, you are bound to get hurt. You’ll try to keep up with someone who has been practicing longer than you, and something will tear or pop or break. The same thing goes for leadership; if you bring your ego into your interactions, someone is bound to get hurt, probably you.

Humility in leadership is simply about intention: the humble leader seeks to serve, whether it be as an example, as a motivator, or as a visionary. The arrogant leader makes it about him or herself.

To be humble is to be learning. If we already know everything, how can we learn? Those who learn, gain. Those who close their minds, lose.

Acting with humility does not in any way deny our own self worth. Rather, it affirms the inherent worth of all persons. Some would consider humility to be a psychological malady that interferes with "success." However, wealth, power or status gained at the expense of others brings only anxiety -- never peace and love.

Real humility is more than a gesture; I think it has to come from the genuine belief that serving others matters more than serving ourselves.

When you begin to think you are “all that,” you’ve just proven that you are not.

Here’s an example of humility I’ve been learning. I decided to take up the local pastime, surfing. My ego said, “With my yoga background I should be able to pick this up, no problem!” Boy was I wrong! Balancing on a foam plank that’s being shoved by a massive wall of water is not the same as balancing on solid land! Just learning to stand up, let alone ride, a surf board has been humbling.

Before I can even stand up, however, I struggle getting out past the break. The break is the point at which the wave breaks in contact with the shoreline. In order to surf, you must get beyond this line of waves so that you can position yourself ahead of the wave.

The break, however, has another idea altogether. Along with the tug and pull of the tide, the break pushes you back towards the beach. Here’s the conversation that goes on in my head when trying to get past the break; “Paddle, paddle, paddle, rest, breathe, paddle some more, keep paddling! Am I there yet? NO??!! You’ve got to be kidding me! My arms are going to fall off! More paddling! Aggguuuuhhhh!!!” I guess I'm not all that after all!

Learning to get past the break is a workout in patience and humility, as it’s likely you’ll get tumbled a few times. Sometimes you get tumbled pretty good! Learning to surrender to the wave is the main lesson here. All in all, it’s about humility, respect, and surrender. I’ve learned very quickly that I’m not in control. By the way, deep yoga breaths before going under and being flexible both come in handy when being tumbled in a wave!

How to Learn Humility:

Learn to surf! Okay, if you don’t live near the ocean, or the idea of getting tumbled by waves sounds less than thrilling to you, here are some other options:

1. Traffic: Allow others to merge in front of you in traffic. Plenty of opportunities to practice humility in traffic!

2. Listen: Learn to listen to other’s point of view. You don’t have to agree or disagree, just listen. Repeat back to them what they said.

3. Service: Keep your intention to be of service in the forefront of your interactions throughout the day. Don’t make it about you and your agenda.

4. Openness: Let go of being right. Who cares in the end?

5. Spirit: Allow a higher purpose to guide your life. Call It what you will, but spend time with It every day.