I Want to Be Rich!

I make no bones about it! It's a fact. I want to be dramatically, deliriously, deliciously, Rich! Screw modesty. Modesty is for monks. Give me Money. Lots of it. I don't just want to be comfortable. If I wanted to be comfortable, I would go to bed with my duvet. I want to be rich!

I know I'm not supposed to talk this way, or feel this way, or act this way. It is rather gauche. But that's the way it is... It's time for truth! Time to expose all the lies about money, that have been fed to the masses for all these years. Time to rid ourselves of all the distorted descriptions and erroneous little sayings.

Let us begin - Shall we? No Time like the present!

Filthy Rich Why do we refer to the rich, as filthy? When was the last time you saw a filthy rich person? Filthy poor person, maybe, but filthy rich person. Never!

Dirty Money I don't care how dirty money is. I'll send it to the laundry, while I'm relaxing in my emerald green, marble tub, with my fireplace crackling in the background. Money isn't everything. Tell that to your landlord! Money is everything, when your rent is due, when your dog wants out of the vets, when your car runs out of gas, when McDonalds just won't cut in any more.

Money won't buy you happiness. Let me try... please, let me try! I would rather be rich and miserable, than poor and miserable. I can always drown my sorrows on the Champs Elysees, deal with my depression on a Caribbean cruise ship, or cry my heart out under a blue Hawaiian sunset. It is easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to get into heaven. Give me a Break! That, my friends, was written by a poor man. If you're rich, you don't need to get into heaven, you're already there.

Money won't buy you love. Money will buy you freedom, freedom will buy you opportunity, opportunity could find you love. Besides, even if that were true, I happen to love money. I love the look of it, the feel of it, the smell of it, and I would rather roll around on my bear skin rug with a pile of thousand dollar bills, than a man any day. Money is the root of all evil. Then, why are the poor areas of any city, the most crime ridden. The truth is, that poverty is the root of all evil. Poverty Sucks. Poverty is man's refusal to accept the truth, that he is unlimited. That he has the ability to be all that he can be. That anything is possible, if he chooses it.

Money is about choices. Being rich is a choice. Being poor is a choice.

Why don't we all drop the scarcity consciousness and get on with it. If we all went out and spent our money and kept it circulating, there would always be plenty to go around. Hoarding it doesn't do anyone, any good. Only the Banks. They are the one's that are in heaven now. We should re-name them, Celestial First Trust.

I don't know about you, but I'm taking a stand. I intend to have it all. And when I get it, if I don't like it, I can always go back to where I was before, if I choose to. But I won't know if I like it, until I try it. Kind of like I didn't know I wouldn't like oysters, until I tried them. It's a lot truer to say you don't want or need something after you've had it, than before.

So, if you happen to see me driving by in my chauffeured driven, silver, rolls royce limousine with a kind of satisfied glint in my eye, remember... You choose to be rich or you choose to be poor.

Choose Rich. It really is better!