In To Action. Ready? Amends

This action scared the living twist out of me!
What was hammered through my thick skull that the amends I made were for my benefit, not for the benefit of the person I was making amends to. I was carrying the garbage, and this step in my journey was for me to clear up my garbage, and I was told to do it personally wherever humanly possible.
There is sort of an escape in the steps-except when to do so would injure them or others- and once again, I was reminded that it did not say except when to do so would be very difficult for me.
By this time, I had a pretty good list of those I had harmed, and finally had become WILLING to make the amends.
When we first get rid of our addictions, some of us tended to run around and tell many people we were sorry about what we had done, but now would do better. I admit to one of those who wanted to make amends right , left and center very early on, I wanted to have my ego stroked by having people say” Oh what a good fellow you are” or the like. This amends were useless. They were done far too early.
I consulted with my trusted advisers about each amend. They included family, friends, former friends’ employers and my ex-wife and her family. And a few others.
Most of them I got done very quickly. There were two that had to be done face to face in a proper place, or there well might have been harm done. But do them I did! And at the first opportunity.
Some people were receptive and listened with interest. A few told me where to get off and said in their minds I would always be a jerk. Some were amazed that I would remember incidents that were long out of their memory. With those I love the most, progress on my journey for the last number of years has been the only true amend I can make. There are certain behaviors that asking forgiveness was not deep enough, sorry wouldn’t do, the process is shown by my actions ongoing!
I was told this action was for me, and at the end of the process, I truly understood.
A tremendous weight was lifted off my shoulders. I could hold my head up much higher. I did not have to worry inside about running into certain people, and a load of guilt, shame and resentments was lifted.
I truly began to experience a new freedom.
I remain ever grateful for those who guided me through this process and made sure I was thorough!
Amends were scary, the [payoff was great. For those trying to get life back on track, I recommend this action process highly. Not a lot of fun, but truly worth it!
So are you in a position to be ready to clean up your past wreckage??