Is Number Two Enough?

When they called Roger Federer to the podium to receive his runner's up trophy, he broke down in tears and was unable to complete his speech. Even when he had a second attempt, the tears just kept flowing. So why is it that one of tennis' great champions - perhaps the best ever in this era - dissolves in a puddle when he's beaten? Are not 13 grand slam titles, over 44 million dollars of prize money and an abundance of lucrative sponsorship deals enough to sustain a man's sense of fulfillment? Apparently not. Nadal simply rattles Federer's cage. So much so that the man loses his edge, his serve, and his confidence when Rafa meets him on court. I always tell my clients than you can never, ever tell what another person is thinking. With Federer red in the face and sobbing in front of millions, we can hazard a guess: extreme disappointment for not proving his form after least year's efforts, for not matching Sampras's record 14 Grand Slams, and for not beating that damn upstart Spaniard, Rafael Nadal - again. Part of me wanted to grab Fed and slap him around a little. I mean, come on - he is incredibly talented - perhaps the best we've ever seen -with a truckload of prize money and endorsements, and the deep respect and admiration of colleagues and fans around the world. I'd be happy with that. How about you? Another part of me totally gets it too. Federer has Nadal; I had Susan Nasser-Sharif. For the six long years of high school, she pipped me at the post for all the top academic prizes. Her name sat at the top of every list. And mine sulked just under it - every time. It drove me nuts! I invented all sorts of reasons why she managed to come up trumps - she had no social life, she studied every night until midnight, she was the teacher's pet, whatever! She had an edge. Deep down I was secretly afraid she was just smarter than me. And that really ticked me off. Plus she was super nice! Like, really nice! She was even made Head Girl (I was just a Prefect), and Valedictorian for our graduation. I mean, come on - how does one girl get all the trophies? My rivalry with Susan Nasser-Sharif forced me to address what was most important to me. I simply wasn't willing to work as hard as her in school. Except for where it mattered to me most - Creative Writing. I loved creative writing - it was a true passion. I won the Creative Writing prize each year, and this was good enough for me in the end, even if Susan did get the Rhode Scholarship. So I figure we all get to choose what is most important to us, and how hard we work for it. For Nadal, his goal is always the same; he says, "Improve my tennis and try my best." His attitude beats both mine and Fed's: his internal drive for self-improvement, devoid of the need for accolades, keeps him focused and emotionally resilient. Perhaps if Fed dropped the need to prove anything, we might see his tennis genie come out of the bottle more often - even when he is playing his nemesis Rafael. As for me, I'll take that lesson too. Just don't tell Susan.