Lessons from Legacy: Life by Design

Creating a Unique and Original LifennIn order to lead an original and unique life, we do have to think outside the box and create our own rules and guidelines for accomplishment. The best among us always have done so. It is our privilege to observe and learn from the lessons these pioneers can teach us. nnMy great grandfather, the renowned American architect Frank Lloyd Wright, left just such a legacy. He never played by the rules but instead forged his own path and, despite many naysayers, created architecture well ahead of its time. His designs still serve as an inspiration today. Many said he could not do what he ultimately did. They said it would not work, would not stand the test of time, and would collapse. While many of his projects have undergone extensive renovation, the innovative concepts presented in such properties as Fallingwater and the S. C. Johnson Wax building are timeless and blazed a trail of originality. nnGreat grandfather was, at the same time, perpetually broke, often accepting bailouts from clients and indulging in his passion for collecting art rather than paying his debtors. His fondest saying was “Give me the luxuries of life, and I will gladly do without the necessities.” Of course, he did not do without necessities, but what he found essential was far beyond what most people consider necessary. He lived a life apart and beyond his peers and even those closest to him. He lived a life of his own design. nnWhat trail would you blaze if you made your own rules? What necessities would you give up to have the luxuries you most desire? nnMaking the Best ChoicesnnWe are each the sum total of the choices we have made. If we want a new reality, we have to make new choices. After all, the very definition of insanity is to do the same thing repeatedly and expect a different result. When we change our actions, we change our results. nnA perfect case in point is my godmother, famed Hollywood costumer Edith Head. At age 30 she was teaching French at an all-girls’ school in California, and because she had studied a semester abroad in Europe, the school assumed she could also teach art. She actually could not draw more than stick figures, but she took on the task nevertheless. While looking in the paper one day, she saw a contest for drawing costumes for one of the major movie studios. nnShe wanted a change in career and boldly borrowed some of her students’ sketches and entered the contest. She won! When she showed up on the first day and was asked to draw, she was found out, but her courage and presumption so captivated the costume designer that he took her on. The rest is history, including eight Oscars for costume design over a 50-year career. She lived a life of her own design. nnWhat have you not pursued because you did not have the skill set or the connections? Can you learn the necessary skills? Who can help you? nnLiving from the HeartnnLife is in the living, not in the stuff. Stuff, more often than not, simply weighs us down and stands in our way. In order to move forward, to continue growing and changing, we must let things go. Those elements we keep with us must serve as inspiration and memories, not as baggage. What you bring forward is up to you. nnMy mother, Anne Baxter, was an Academy Award–winning actress. To me, she was a single, working parent, too often gone on location and on tour. But she taught my two sisters and me valuable lessons. She knew from age seven that she wanted to act and pursued it with a single-mindedness that few of us possess for anything in our lives. At the same time she managed to write an autobiography about her life with my father, and she was in the middle of a second one about her life growing up when she died. Mother lived each and every moment with passion, vigor, and commitment to give her best. She challenged us to do the same and instilled the values I describe here. She lived her life by her own design.nnWhen Mother passed, over 20 years ago now, we each had only a file folder of mementos that she had kept. This was such a gift as opposed to the stockpiling that I see so often with clients. They keep hordes of baby clothes, tarnished bronzed baby shoes, faded elementary school artwork projects, broken trophies from days gone by, and too much more. Mother saved the best, the things that really counted to her, and hence they mattered to us. What better gift could there be? The most significant legacy she left was the memories of times spent together, not the stuff left behind. When you live from your heart and your mind, not by your hand and your purse, you will truly know that it is connections and relationships that define us, not our possessions. He who dies with the most toys still dies. nnWhat stuff are you hoarding? How is it holding you back? nn** This article is one of 101 great articles that were published in 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. To get complete details on “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life”, visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/greatways3.html nn