Life Plan For Love: Healing After a Break-Up

One of the hardest things in life is when your loved one dumps you. And then, perhaps out of guilt, or perhaps out of consideration, they say, "But we can be friends, can't we?"

Somehow muster the courage to say, "NO. We can't be friends. If this is the end, it is the end of everything."

Agreeing to "be friends" has a multitude of overtures. It will mean your ex feels better about dumping you, and it will most likely mean you are hoping to worm your way back into their life.

Know when a good thing is over.

If you want to heal as quickly as possible, make it a clean break. To get the finality set in your mind, cut a shoelace or a piece of cloth into two pieces and stare at them. There they are. Two separate things. Totally divided. If you want to heal quickly, that's how you must see it. A new day WILL come.

Go out of your way to avoid your ex, but if you do accidentally meet them, hold your head up high, look them straight in the eye and say, "Hi. You're looking well." Don't let them see the hurt. Wait for a short reply, and move on, ignoring them for whatever time remains.

Making a clean break means you must destroy the mementos you cherish. It may not be something you can do immediately, but for your own good, do it as soon as possible. Pictures are the first things to go. News clippings and gifts are next.

Everything that even slightly reminds you of your ex must go; jewelry, clothing, and objects. Make a clean break.

You will be grieving as you try to go through the motions of life, and that's normal.

But, believe it or not, healing will eventually come. Give yourself permission to go through the grieving process. It's important.

Acknowledge that you lost more than a prospective mate. You lost your whole future. You lost your dreams and ambitions. And equally important, you either lost your self-esteem and self-worth, or it's badly damaged.

Realize the hardest thing about a break-up is not the loss of a partner, or the loss of companionship, or the fun times you had. The hardest part is the rejection.

Fortunately, it is also the easiest to correct.

The very first thing you should do after a break-up is FLIRT a little.

No, your heart won't be in it, but there is a little actor in everyone. And when someone flirts back, you have just reaffirmed that you are still a desirable person; you are still attractive; you still have "the touch". And you will be restored, bit by bit.

It's time to treat yourself in whatever way you would normally like. No, you won't enjoy it as much, but it will make you feel better. Paint a smile on your face when you go out.

Then, one day you will awaken, and notice that the sun is shining once again.

Copyright © 2008 Katherin Scott. All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this article may be copied or distributed in any form without the author’s information intact.