Make a Silk Purse from Your Sow's Ear

There was a point in my life, a decade plus ago, I was living in insanity. I was doing things that were negative repeatedly, but expecting a diffrent outcome. I was less than honest, leading a double life- one for the public and a diffrent life inside of me, I suffered frequent depression and fear that YOU would find out what I was really like. Self-worth was gone.

I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I got the courage to change from somewhere, but in giving up a life I knew, as nuts as it was, I was taking a big step into the unknown. Something had to fill what I was giving up, and I certainly didn't want boring!From a source I did not understand at the time, I had faith that things would turn out better than the place I was at.

I took the leap, and could not visualize the safety net. Scary stuff.

With a lot of help from professionals and my 12 step fellowship, I began a new journey. Being who I am, I learned patience the hard way. By nature, when I want something, I want it NOW! But that's not the way things work. Change came as I was ready for it, and ready was not something I could control as much as I would have liked to.

Today I am doing something that builds on a strength I had in my insane period; I love to help others and am good at it in certain areas. It was a strength in both my business life and personal life. I was born with some very good abilities. Today I use those abilities in a way I love. In the last 2 years, I recieved professional certification as a Life Coach and Addiction coach by going back to school and working my tail off.The insanity of my past is never forgotten. It helps me in working with my clients and is a strength I bring to the party. I've been there and got the T-shirt, so I can easily relate. Both the insane life and lessons learned on a tough journey, plus having great people put in my way, have led to the "Co-Creative Process of Life Recovery". A process that harnesses the professional training I have and the practical experiences I have lived.

I certainly feel fulfilled today when I see the lights come on within my clients, watch them do the work, and succeed at doing what they have desired to do and couldn't do on their own without a coach. As I was writing this, a client called. He is going through the energy sapping process that major change brings. Old lifestyle and habits die hard, and don't die without a struggle. I can relate (not feel) the turmoil he is feeling. I had told him to expect it; he's in a fight for a new life. Seeing it happen and him articulate it is huge progress. I am grateful for what we just shared.

I have learned to stay out of my own way and let things happen as a result of the work I do for me each day. The initial fear I had is gone,; faith proved to be the correct feeling, I have made major change, and today, have a life I really enjoy. To put it mildly, it certainly isn't boring. The stuff I gave up that was tormenting me has been well replaced with things I love, and harness the strengths I do have.

In remembering the insanity of my historical life, I gain strength. It makes me better equipped to help others, and keeps me doing things daily to continue my own growth. If I keep on doing what I'm doing, I won't go backward.